Monthly Archives: October 2009

Happy Hallow-Freakin’-Ween


My family never really celebrated Halloween… I never went trick or treating… I never really got to dress up… I never got that experience. 

Then I got cursed when I got bit by a magical gopher.  Now I turn into a wolf every Halloween.

I don’t let it get in the way of my work though.  In fact I can hear things a lot better on the phone with my increased sense of hearing.

Daddy’s Little Girl doesn’t even seem to be phased by my horrendous transformation.  Oh yeah, and I won “Best Cursed Human Being” at work.

Bunny was also “cursed” several months ago when she was bitten by a radioactive pair of thong underwear and now turns into a sexy Little Red Riding Hood.  How weird and appropriate is that?

My wolf alter ego still has a penchant for the finer things in life.

The Blue Man Group happened to be in town.

When I transform back to my normal self I’m really worn out (more hungover actually).

In an unbelievable random turn of events, Daddy’s Little Girl was bitten by a mutant banana cookie and is now cute… all the time.  Okay… that was already the case… but she looks really cute as a kitty cat.

We hung out with other cute mutant children

We let her run her little cute mutant self rampant in the neighborhood to wreak havoc by grabbing all the candy she can (for her daddy)

Too much sugar causes random acts bursts of blitther blather.

We were one happy cursed mutant family on Halloween…

 

Pause, Rewind, Watch, Repeat


Sometimes, there are moments in your life that you wish you could bookmark and come back to at will to feel the euphoria once again.  These moments generally happen so fast you’re either unprepared to take it all in or you don’t realize what just happened until later.  Several days ago… a moment in my life left me wanting more and realizing that it was a memory I would carry with me forever. 

Daddy’s Little Girl had unfortunately joined the scores of other kids with some sort of sickness.  We think she had croup: a disease that hits infants and young children and involves harsh coughing, hoarseness, fever and difficult breathing.  Essentially… it’s a bad cough.  On the list of illnesses flying around these days… I can think of worse things she could have gotten but it still sucks nonetheless.

DLG was pretty resilient.  She didn’t let the croup get her down.  All throughout the illness it was pretty much a non-issue for her.  She wasn’t upset, grumpy or whiney.  In fact she was a real joy to be around. 

It was night time that was the real issue.

Every night for several days, about three hours into her bedtime slumber she would start coughing and coughing and coughing.  Amazingly, she would never wake up!  She would cough in her sleep.  It would keep Bunny and I awake though.  It also left me feeling like a horrible parent trying to go to sleep in my bed in the next room while leaving her to fend for herself in her room.

The first night her coughing got to a point where something really had to be done, we got up and fetched some water to see if it might wash away those coughs.  I went in to her darkened room and gently picked her out of her crib… so as not to wake her too suddenly.  

She woke up momentarily to take a swig of her water and upon completion of that she laid her head on my shoulder to go back to sleep.

DLG is normally a pretty active squirmer.  I’m never able to hold her in the cradled position I did when she was a newborn.  It is in these moments where she’s at the doorway of some unimaginably comforting baby dream about giant teddy bears, hills of ice cream or that soft bunny from “Goodnight Moon”, when I am able to cradle her like I was just a few short months ago… before she became a “big girl”.  The only difference now is that she’s longer and her legs spill out of the protective shield of arms I’ve surrounded her with.

It is sitting in her quiet and dark room when I reflect on a little bit of everything that brought me to where I am at that moment.  I’ve lived on this Earth for almost 30 years and perhaps I get a little too philosophical sometimes… perhaps it’s my OCD… but it is an incredible relief of stress and anxiety to sit in that room holding the fruit of your loins who believes that the sun rises and sets with you and her mama.

Her nightlight lit up the room on this particular evening to a point where I could look down and see her little sleeping face splashed with the green hue the nightlight was emitting.  I couldn’t help but smile and think how far I’ve come in my life, how beautiful she was and how blessed by God I must be to have such an incredible child.

Then, before I really had a chance to take it in, she opened her eyes, looked into mine, lifted her little hand up and placed it on my right cheek.  Her delicate hand which almost a year and a half ago wasn’t connected to any clear thought but rather acted on impulse was now clearly resting on my cheek for a reason.   More gently than I could ever do… she stroked the side of my cheek, let out a little chuckle, and laid to rest her hand back from where it came.  Then, just quickly as she had woken up, she was back asleep again to run with the kitty cats, climb the mile high set of stairs or fall into the stadium full of feather pillows.

I sat there, utterly dumbfounded trying to wrap my mind around what exactly just happened.  At that time, I wished I would have thought to say, “Okay whoa… wait until I’m ready before you do that!  I wanna get Bunny in here to see this and I want to get a picture and I wanna soak all this in!  Can you hold your hand there a little longer?  How about if I cry when you put your hand there?  Then it would be like we were in a movie or something!”

The grim reality is that it will never happen like that again.  I honestly don’t know if I would have wanted it to happen any differently.  The benefit of having our God given ability to replay memories is better than any movie because you’re not only replaying what happened visually… but mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

With all the words that my genius child is able to say at 15 months… she hasn’t been able to formulate “I love you” even though Bunny and I say it to her all the time.  I never really question whether she loves us, but it is of course is always nice to hear it verbalized.  Perhaps she’s saving the best for last… but when she stroked my cheek in the dead of night several days ago… I got all the confirmation I needed.

Perhaps I can wait a little longer…

Like two peas in a pod

I’m Going To Run A Marathon… Eventually…


So I made a decision to run a marathon.  Okay… not a full marathon… but a half-marathon.  That’s still 13 freakin’ miles people!  No small task for a “runner-hater” like myself.  The marathon that I want to run in also isn’t until April 2010 either so I have some time to mentally prepare for it, eat some ice cream, watch some TV, take a nap, etc. 

My interest was peaked after a girl at my work proclaimed that she was in training for a marathon in Washington D.C.  I usually work out harder when I have something I’m working towards to I thought that this might be a good idea.  This would help me shave a few of my excess pounds I’ve gained and get rid of my saggy teets that I seem to be acquiring somehow.  I guess I’m really about to turn 30!

There’s no way I would win since it seems the fastest time ever completed in the marathon was a little over an hour and fifteen minutes.  Yes… THIS PERSON RAN 13 MILES IN AN HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES!!! That’s like 5 minutes per mile!!!  I can barely run a mile in 10 minutes.  What kind of freaks are these people?

So, why would I want to do this?  I guess to prove to myself that I can do it and cross it off my list of things to do before I die. 

Well… it wasn’t on my list until right now.

I’m going to add it because what’s the point in going through all this if at the end I can’t take my red pen and scratch through “Run a marathon” while sighing in contentment.  The answer is… there would be no point.  Other than being in fantastic shape I guess.  That’s just a bonus.

Movie Review: Transformers 2 Revenge Of The Fallen


I don’t think this was a real poster for the movie… but it made me laugh!

Rated PG-13

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, a bunch of robots

150 minutes!!

Currently available to rent

It’s not the excellent dialogue, script or character building that will get you to rent Transformers.  Quite simply, I rented Transformers because it

  1. Has Megan Fox in it.
  2. Made the most money at the box office last summer.
  3. Has giant explosions.
  4. Has Megan Fox in it.
  5. Has awesome special effects that would have caused brain hemorrhages to viewers 100 years ago.
  6. Has giant robots that somehow transform into much smaller, sleek looking cars, jet planes, bulldozers, remote control cars, semis and (didn’t see this one coming) college students (?).
  7. What else… oh yeah… it has Megan Fox in it.

There are quite simply those movies out there that you go see strictly for entertainment value.  At certain points in the movie I would catch myself going, “Now… how did that happen?  They just transported halfway across the world?  The Autobots and Decepticons just destroyed half that cities highway system… how does the government cover that up?  How did… oh wait… I forgot that I’m watching Transformers.  Not ‘Gone With the Wind’.” 

T2 jumps down so many rabbit holes you come away from it with a lot of unanswered questions.  Too many in fact for a 2 ½ hour movie.

“But what’s wrong with that?” you might ask me.

“Absolutely nothing.” I would reply.

There is a reason that this movie made eight trillion dollars at the box office (see above).  If you want to think, reflect or cry… rent movies like Memento, Flight 93, or Marley and Me respectively.  If you want to sink into the couch with a sack of popcorn and relax all the muscles in your body to a point where drool uncontrollably spills from the corners of your mouth… then rent Transformers 2.

Even though the Transformers movies main draw are the fantastic special effects… the actors aren’t horrible… they simply don’t have enough lines to bust their acting chops. 

Shia LaBeouf is one again the funny and fast talking Sam Witwicky (coolest fake last name ever).  I like Shia (dumbest real name ever).  He has proven to me that he can act in movies like “Eagle Eye” and “Disturbia”.  I like his acting style and although he seems like he could probably be a tremendous douchbag in real life… I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt on this one.

Megan Fox reprises her role as Mikaela Banes… the role that made her super famous.  Despite all the negativity that she gets in the media for her smart mouth and stuck-upivness (yes mom… I know that’s not a word) she is quickly ascending the ranks as my favorite “it” girl… replacing the highly intelligent Kim Kardashian (although the rest of her family can be shot into space for all I care).  She’s not a bad actor… but she’s not going to be winning an Oscar any time soon.  She sure is nice to look at though.

Megan Fox… good actor or pretty much the whole reason T2 made 8 trillion dollars?  I’m going with the latter.

Next to the computer generated robots… all the other actors are pretty secondary seeing that most of their lines are either said for comic relief or screamed over the sound of a bomb going off, entire cities screaming in horror or that weird “Wei ah wei eh ah” noise that happens every time a robot changes into car/semi/jet plane/motorcycle/remote control big wheel or vice versa.

So, weighing everything that I’ve said here and because I too like explosions, robots, special effects and Megan Fox… I give T2 a handsome 4 out of 5 total raging idiots:

When Daddy’s Lose Their Minds


When Daddy’s lose their minds… they have fun with their babies…

They try to get a stop action picture jumping from the couch… this is the best I got!

They adorn their children’s faces with stick-on-jewels…

Then they adorn their own eyelids with them too…

Then they put every bow they own on their childs head.

Then they let them wear their baby foot rattles.

Then they play…

PEEK-A-BOO!! Until they’re blue in the face.

But the great thing about what happens when a daddy loses his mind…

… is they grow even closer to their little one…

… and their bond grows along with their love into unfathomable depths.

What Totally Does It For Me Right Now?


AMP Energy Drink (Lightning)

I never thought I could get addicted to caffeine… but what AMP has shown me is that I was way off base.  Being a former Red Bull employee/drinker I never though I would stray from the brand that created the energy drink market but one fine morning several months ago I discovered this elixir that forced its way into my morning routine.

The only bright spot in my morning and on my trip to work is the excitement that builds in my chest waiting for those first gulps of this liquid happiness.  I cannot and do not attempt to drink my AMP until I am sitting at my desk, my computer has finished loading and my morning prayers are complete.  This routine is truly a product of my OCD because if for some reason I drank my AMP on the way to work or before I finished my prayers… I would feel extremely guilty.  Why?  I don’t know… that’s just the way I am and on my list of OCD issues… this causes me no anxiety.

Weekends are a problem because the convenience of me traveling to work and by a 7-11 is no longer there, so I’m forced to extricate myself from my house to the 7-11 that houses these golden energy drink bouillons and release from my grasp the $2.27 it costs to buy one.

7-11… convenience store or a vicious black hole to lose all your money on caffeine enriched soda hybrids… you decide…

In fact… I am so addicted to these that I gave up my lunch money I withdrew at the beginning of every week in order to vindicate buying these every morning.  I used to withdraw a certain amount of money for lunch through the week… now I pack my lunch and save that money for my morning AMP.  In the long run… It actually saves money for us and I get to eat healthier AND I get an AMP!!  It’s a winning combination.

At around 9AM every weekday morning… I get real depressed because that’s around the time I usually find the last carbonated bubbles at the bottom of my legal crack juice.  It is at that time I’m forced to forge on through the day, depending on the pounds of sugar, B vitamins, guarana, ginseng and taurine I just ingested to keep me awake and focused.  Usually it lasts for a couple hours and then… I crash… and so does my face… on my keyboard. 

My AMP thoughts are quickly replaced by decidedly more awesome thoughts of making it home, playing with Daddy’s Little Girl and mugging down on Bunny after DLG goes to sleep.  These are much more valuable things than this stupid drink… but for one period of time during the work week… I can hardly contain my excitement.  I’m focused on that feeling the nerves in my lips get when that sharp feeling of a newly opened AMP hits them, races down my throat, magically gives me a head change, then turns into pee about 30 minutes later.

The Big Bang


No… I’m not talking about when Bunny and I made a baby.

Without being greatly versed in scientific, scriptural or spiritual jargon regarding the creation of the universe… I’d like to make my stand on what I believe.

Quite simply… scientists and atheists can make all the arguments they want about how the world was created.  Something like… *BANG* the Universe started in a black hole and spit out other little galaxies which spit other little planets, then one celled organisms turned into fish which turned into birds which turned into dinosaurs which turned into monkeys which turned into humans who then invented the wheel and then the iPhone (or something along those lines) COMPLETELY BY CHANCE!!

I can see and understand how maybe… just maybe… all the components to make the tiniest one celled organism could all come together in vast space to create what looks like or appears to be a cell… never mind a human being.  But what creates life?  What is the magic spark that suddenly springs this cell into life?  What about the emotions we exhibit… the sparks that travel between the synapses in our brain… the thoughts we hold in our mind.  Or even the human eye in and of itself is so ridiculously complex that somehow it could come to pass completely by chance is mind boggling to me!  How did these come to be?

There has to be an intelligent creator: God.

To think that life was created out of nothingness completely by chance… seems more insane to me than the thought from atheists that God is a fairy tale like Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny.

Unfortunately, I cannot claim to be a great theological mind or claim that I’ve been studying with great evolutionary scientists but I know that I’m not stupid.  I know that if I was greeted by the sneers of a group of blue blood atheists who thought I was an unintelligent Neanderthal who mystically warped up their evolutionary chain… I quite simply wouldn’t care.  I know my stance is completely viable.  I would, however, sadly recognize that they are a product of where this World is going: the shitter.  Yes… I said it: the shitter.

I guess the perfect reality is Heaven.  Something the Earth is far from. 

The Earth is not free from the stain of sin… thus it is to be expected from us, whom free will was given through God’s unwavering love, we are going to screw up… and have screwed up quite royally it appears. 

Myself included.  I was born with original sin.

I tend to wallow in my own self pity at the mistakes I’ve made and continue to make.

What makes me truly sad though is the thought of a dying atheist.  What’s their take? Where do they go?  Aside from the fact that death beds are not fun places to in the first place… I’m sure there’s a lot of doubt around the death bed of an atheist.  I’m sure many questions come to mind before they slip away that none of us will ever know.

“Maybe I should have given that ‘God’ thing a shot.”

That’s purely speculation… but I can’t believe they wouldn’t hope there wasn’t something else after this life is over.

I don’t claim to know all the answers, or claim to be the Earth’s most perfect human and I certainly don’t want to be high and mighty.  What I am certain of though… is that the supernatural force of God is there and although we can’t physically see it with our eyes we are trusting too much on what feeds our eyes that will only be here for a short time.  When we are gone, our spirit and soul will still be alive and well… and what are we doing to feed it and keep it alive?

The answer for many people is “nothing”.  They feed what makes them happy for a short time: money, clothes, cars, etc.

Perhaps if we want proof that God indeed does truly exist… we need to go back to feeding our souls.  Something atheists quit doing long ago.

I struggle quite often… wondering where God is.  But I know… whether you believe in Him or not… comparing us to God is a bit like comparing the intelligence of Albert Einstein to the intelligence of a crumpled up piece of scotch tape.    I can’t even remotely pretend to know what’s going on or why I can’t “see” Him.

What I do know though, is that I need to do what He taught in the Gospel.  It is a proven book of love, compassion and self-sacrifice.  Even the most hardened atheist can see that.

If your life is full of what He taught and full of love, compassion and self-sacrifice… you won’t need to “see” Him… but you’ll feel Him in your soul: the very mode of transportation to your journey into eternal life with Him.

God is Love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in Him.  1st John 4:16

*BANG*… it all makes sense to me now…

The Great Black Taco


I have a penchant for Mexican food.  In fact… I love it.  It’s my favorite type of food.

Tacos – I love to munch their crunch

Burritos – Yummy in my tummy

Tamales – Too sexy for their corn husk

Chips and salsa – Gift from the gods

Chimichangas – fried burrito anyone?  I’ll take two!

Sopapillas – fried bread + sugar = recipe for awesomeness

Enchildas – I’m literally so hungry thinking about enchiladas I have created one with the intense power of my mind right here in front of me… I didn’t know I could do that.  I’ll have to use that later.

Anyway… when a commercial for a new Taco Bell black taco flashed on the TV my ears perked up like a hyena when it hears a rotten antelope laying there waiting to be devoured (just go with it).  This taco was like a normal Taco Bell taco… yet black.  How fascinating!  I was immediately drawn in.  I came to find out from further watching the commercial that, instead of regular yellow processed cheese, they use white processed cheese.  Then to add to the total mind explosion they add some sort of pepper jack cheese sauce.  I’m telling you… I could hardly wait to wrap my mouth around this new sinister looking black taco.

Happiness in a crispy shell… or is it?

I rolled into Taco Bell the other day to try this evil version of the more innocent looking (and suddenly boring) golden taco.  I ordered three along with several packets of their fire sauce.

I didn’t want to wait to get back to the office to consume them so I pulled into a parking space and tore into the first one.

It really didn’t taste that much different than a regular taco.  I was disappointed.  I felt as though the excitement portrayed in the commercial for this incredible, new Mexican invention that transcended time and space was fake

A black taco that tastes like a regular taco!  What’s so cool about that?  It’s just black?  All it does is leave black residue between your teeth and an empty feeling in your heart.

I felt gypped.

Who comes up with this stuff? 

It was at that moment that I realized I succumbed to some modern day witchcraft called “marketing”.  How could I have been so stupid?

I drove out of my normal roaming area to actually spend my hard earned money on this  evil black taco that tasted just like a regular golden and more spiritual golden taco.

I started thinking this wasn’t the first time Taco Bell had drawn me in with their witchcraft/marketing.  They used to have this thing called a double-decker taco that was essentially a bean burrito with a taco slapped inside of it!  They also used to have a cheesy beef burrito that was practically a regular beef burrito except it had so much more cheese!

I placed the other two black tacos inside my stomach never to bother me again and drove back to work ashamed that Taco Bell had drawn me in once again.  It took contributing my hard earned cash to the witches cauldron before I realized the fault of my ways.  There’s not much I can do now… just move on.

Taco Bell… fast food establishment or witchcraft factory?  You decide.

Beware the black tacos in your life my friend.  Before you know it… it may be too late.  Heed my warning and beware.  I beg you.

Did I mention I’m in marketing?

Keeping Up With The Morons


It’s unfortunate that Kim Kardashian is one of the hottest girls on the planet because if she wasn’t I’d be ready to tie her family to a missile and shoot them into outer space to never grace us with their moronic family reality show again.

I’ll be the first to admit to you that I am a Kim Kardashian fan exclusively because of the way she looks.  Everything else about her lifestyle, attitude, fame and fortune annoys the living crappers out of me… but she sure is purdy.  Is that shallow?  I don’t think so. 

Anyway…

Seems that executive producer Ryan Seacreast didn’t think everyone got enough of the Kardashian family from their show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” so he decided to create a spin-off called “Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami” which follows Kim’s two decidedly slow sisters to Miami where they open up another one of their overpriced clothing boutiques ran by employees better fit to create drama than create a healthy working environment.

I’m not the most selective in what I watch at the end of the day.  Usually Daddy’s Little Girl has just gone to bed and I find myself crashed out on the couch looking for something to catch my eye on the TV.  I found myself watching the most current episode of  KKTM which was focused on Kourtney’s impending reveal to her family that she was *gasp* PREGNANT!  Pregnant, mind you, from her ex-boyfriend who had repeatedly ran around on her in KUWTK, cheated on her, etc.

But that’s besides the point I really want to make.

This episode immediately took a turn to the extremely disturbing (for me) when Kourtney very flippantly started commenting that she might abort her baby.  The reasons varied from, “My family doesn’t like Scott“(the father) to “The timing isn’t right”.

Perhaps I’m a little ignorant to what goes through a persons head when they consider an abortion but the way she conveyed it really struck me deeply.  She talked about it like she was contemplating getting rid of an annoying freckle or wart.  It wasn’t a big deal.  She was just going to wait it out and see how she felt in a couple days.

It really conveyed to me the state of our world right now and how fucked up we’ve gotten (yes… I said the “F” word).

When Kourtney referred to taking this abortion she didn’t say she was going to get rid of “this mass of cells” or “it”… she called it “her baby”.  That implies to me that she believes she already has a child no matter how tiny it may be at that time.

Circle illustrates where the baby is… not where her brain has landed

How jaded have we become as a society when we can freely kill children and know we’re doing it?  Because it’s “legal”?  Freakin’ stupid idiot celebrity.

I’ve always been an advocate for “Life Begins At Conception” and believe that if you’re stupid enough to play with the reproductive organs that God gave you then you better damn well be ready to play with that baby that’s the result of it.  Put on your “Big Girl Panties” and deal with it.

Now I’m not saying that people don’t make mistakes and get pregnant out of wedlock or get pregnant when they don’t want to… but when did destroying a life become an option?  If you don’t want the baby… then there are plenty of people out there that do… especially the ones that are medically unable to have kids.

I have read stories of girls that have had abortions and they become insanely depressed, regretful and suicidal.  I’ve never read a story where a girl says “Having an abortion was the best thing I’ve ever done!”  It doesn’t happen that way.

It completely goes against the grain of the way we’re made as humans and it pains me to think of the millions of young impressionable girls watching this “reality” filth.

Our world is screwed.

After saying all this, I would never angrily confront a woman upon finding out she was considering an abortion or had even had one.  I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around the mountain of situations that have led to a woman getting pregnant… but I know that every situation is incredibly different and complex.  Being a man, I can’t imagine the incredible variables of stress, tension, anxiety and depression that result from being pregnant.  Indeed, a life is forever changed when a baby is thrown in the mix.  But no matter what the situation is that’s exactly what “it” is: a baby.  Not a mass of cells.

In some ancient cultures, husbands would throw the babies they didn’t want off a cliff.  What’s so much different in our culture with abortion?  We’re just getting rid of the baby in its very miniscule developmental stages before it looks like a baby instead of throwing it off a cliff once it’s born.  As they say: “outta sight, outta mind!”

 All in all… I’m not mad at any individual who decides to have or did have an abortion (although I will be incredibly sad and will try to talk you out of having one).  I’m mad at our overall society that has painted a picture that this is okay.  Who do you point your finger at… who’s to blame?  I can start with the media and shows like “Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami”.  As I mentioned earlier, I’m sure tender eyes and ears were watching Kourtney as she talked about getting an abortion and the foundation was laid in the deep inner recesses of their mind that abortion is okay.

We as a society are so far away from God… we can’t differentiate right from wrong anymore.

On a bright note… Kourtney decided to keep her baby and in her defense she’s just a product of her society.  She’s allowed herself to become jaded to the idea that the fertilized egg in her body is not a child at all.  If she truly understood what she was doing I completely believe she would never even have considered having an abortion.

I envision what she’ll say to her kid when he/she is old enough to watch these old tapes back when “mama used to be famous” and understand why mama so flippantly thought about aborting him/her.  If I was that kid… I would have questions.  I just hope she’s ready to answer them.

You morons are going to make WONDERFUL parents!  On a seperate note… there are few dudes out there that look more douchebaggy than THAT guy… good grief…

Movie Review: Taken


Rated PG-13

Starring: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace and a bunch of worthless sex trade thugs/goons.

93 minutes

Currently available to rent

I had heard a lot of good things about Taken before actually seeing it and it turns out the good things were warranted.

In this movie, Liam Neeson reminded me of a movie he made some time ago called “Rob Roy” where he played an 17th century kick butt Scotsman.  Much like his character in RR, he plays a man named Bryan Mills who’s a retired “preventer” (as he calls himself in the movie) aka CIA operative for the US government.  He gets his kicks now from spending what time he can with his 17 year old daughter whose young life he was mostly absent from while he was “preventing” bad things from happening.

 

Another movie that makes you want to learn how to rough up some thugs

Turns out he has to dust off those old “preventing” skills sooner than he had hoped when his daughter is taken (thus the name of the movie) by some black market sex trade thugs from her hotel room while on a trip to Spain with her best friend. 

Major ass kicking ensues along with some karate chopping, head butting and bullets of the fast-moving and especially harmfull variety.

For any father of a daughter (as I am myself) this movie plays especially prevalent into a caring fathers fears.  Fortunately, Liam Neeson’s character is very good at what he does and you aren’t left with an empty sad feeling at the end of the movie.  I wasn’t sad at all.  I was ready to learn how to disarm someone with my pelvis while kicking them in the balls while slapping them in the face while punching them through a window.

If it’s any indication how good this movies was… my wife even LOVED it.  That’s saying a lot since she never likes any of the movies I buy or rent.

Liam Neeson really kicks “A” in this movie.  Have a mentioned that.

Maggie Grace (of “Lost” fame) plays the unfortunate daughter who is taken and I think she does a good job playing a gangly, innocent, uncoordinated teenager… being that she’s actually 26 in real life.

16 year old Maggie Grace

VS.

26 year old Maggie Grace

The movie is also just over an hour and a half  (93 minutes).  It doesn’t drag on and on which is a definite plus.  It builds the characters just long enough for you to get the idea… then Liam tears all the enemies new assholes.

If you’re watching this movie with your kids… there’s not really any blood and gore.  It’s rated PG-13 so we were initially like “Eh… is this going to be that good?” but were quite pleased with the fact that a movie like this could still capture your attention without a high body count, explosions and body parts.

So I’m going to start this portion of my blog out on a bang and set the standard for movie goodness.  I give Taken five out of five cookies and creame ice creame sandwiches.  Yum.

Go out and see it today… you will not be disappointed.  I promise.