My Useless Talents


We all have them.  Talents that may be fairly unspectacular when compared to others who may be able to hit a baseball 500 feet or run the length of a football field in two seconds… but talents nonetheless.  These talents may not make us millionaires… but they do make us unique.  Here are some of the things that I can do that most the population probably can’t do:

Spin A Pillow:

Spinning pillows never looked this good…

Twirl A Pen Around My Thumb:

 

Use your imagination as to what happens between these two photos.  I’ll help you: the pen spun around my thumb.

Sit Indian Style On The Floor And Push Myself Up Into A Handstand:

Step one: sit on your hump

Step two: strain then explode the veins in your neck forcing your legs heavenward…

Step 3: Celebrate

Wear My Hat Sideways:

Do not try this at home.  You could look like a giant douchebag.

Make This Face:

This face has been passed down in my family from generation to generation.

And This Face:

I can see down my throat…

And This Face:

Call Guinness… I see about eight chins there.  That’s gotta be some sort of record.

Discover Water On The Moon:

I took this picture with our digital.  See the water there… it’s that smudge that could just as well be an alien fart but just between you and me we’re going to call it water.

Worry Myself To Sleep:

I see giant boobies…

Fly:

Up up and away… through the roof… gonna have to fix that…

Put My Leg Over My Head:

Well… I used to be able to…

Okay… maybe not.  My hammy is tightening up…

Rack Myself:

10 out of 10 on form…

Not as graceful of an impact shot…

Oh… now that just looks painful.

Turn Into A Koozie:

Now… this is my best trick.  I can change at will to….

 A Texas Rangers koozie.  Pretty nifty, eh?

What are your unusual talents?

Side Note:  I have to give props to my very tolerant wife who took these pictures of me while being completely sick and wanting to go to bed.  She’s a keeper.  Love you Bunny!  Thank you!!

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6 responses to “My Useless Talents

  1. Hey, who taught you that nifty pen-spinning trick? Oh wait, I remember: ME!

    Also: the picture of “water” on the “moon” looks like a terrifying alien face peeking up out of that hole to me. I think it’s much more likely than water, too.

    The flying picture made me LOL FOR REALS, not just in my thoughts. And the koozie one, and the sideways hat.

    I think my favorite part was the note to Mindy at the end, though. She really is a good sport!!

  2. The entire post I wondered if Bunny took all those pictures, she is a good sport!

  3. good god those are hilarious. and i thought my mind was full of crazy things! ahhah. indian style push up thats impressive. your poor wife,but i was for a good cause. made me laugh.

  4. Pingback: My Useless Talents | The Gers Info

  5. Mollien (Mom) Koenig

    I hate to tell you this, but you look like Woody Allen in that sideways-hat picture! Really, really dorky. BUT…I laughed at them all, esp. the flying one; man, your couch is really springy!! the real “useless talent” you have is taking quite handsome facial features and contorting them into something hideous. Scary. Especially the 8-chins one. Please, go away.

  6. Mollien (Mom) Koenig

    I just looked at the moon picture again, and THERE IS SOMETHING THERE!! OMG!! Shriek, shriek, shriek! It’s staring at me!!

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