Boy Is Born, Boy Gets Bad Haircut, Boy Does Stupid Things, Boy Meets Girl, Boy Makes Girl, Boy Turns 30


So I was trying to get this posted on my ACTUAL birthday… but that didn’t happen.  My birthday was yesterday, December 9th… while today is December 10th and I believe the way it has been since the beginning of time is that your birthday only lasts from 12 o’clock midnight to 11:59 PM on your birthdate.  Alas… I am no longer in that time frame… but let’s just make-believe I am.

Today is my birthday.  It’s not a normal birthday… it’s my 30th birthday.  Being the sentimental and OCD person I am… I reflected on the last 30 years of my life quite a bit the last several days.  Being 30 not only means the disappearance of the number “2” anywhere near the first digit of my age… but it gives me a feeling of being “grown-up”.  I suddenly feel as though my age reflects the fatherly figure I should be… yet inside I’m still that 14-year-old kid dying to stay up late, watch rated “R” movies or dreaming of when I might be able to… one day… see boobies (and today for my birthday… I finally got to!).

Today was a special day.  It was a special day because I felt inundated with love… something that I pride myself overwhelming on others rather than feeling overwhelmed by it!  Your birthday is in place for people to remind you how much they love you and how grateful they are that you’re here… but there was a special significance behind this birthday.  Perhaps it was because of all I feel like I’ve been through spiritually and emotionally the past year.  Perhaps when you turn 30… you’re entitled to let the floodgates open a little bit.  Perhaps… just perhaps… it is because I realized I do have friends, family and acquaintances that do actually LOVE me!  Something you do tend to forget when roaming about your daily activities.  For example:

When helping a friend at work through a difficult situation, he told me, “I was really a great friend”, after I told him I would keep his situation in my prayers.

My big sister wrote this about me!  As I read it today and with tears welling in my eyes, I felt so undeserving of such words written about me.  I feel like I’ll be coming back to it quite frequently when I’m feeling down!

Bunny finally succeeded in surprising me at my work!

Yes… I know… I look constipated.

And only several days ago, during our trip to Miami, our hosts surprised me with a birthday cake as well!

I’m in trouble because I was actually unable to effectively blow out all 30 candles

 I probably got more phone calls from friends and family wishing me well than any other birthday

 And perhaps the best of all, Bunny gave me the best gift a husband could dream of: boudoir photographs…

What?  You didn’t think I was actually going to show you one did you?  For Papa K’s eyes only my friend...

So… with all that being said… I really want to thank everyone who made this birthday the best 30th birthday any old fart could possibly dream.

And now… memories…

That’s me… in the middle with the “1” on my shirt (duh).  Holding me is my rebel sister Pam, to my right is my sister Jenni, brother Paul is to my left, and brother Matt in the background

I think I was turning six in this picture.  This picture is 24 years old.  Damn.

Yeah!  Classmates huddled closely around me to see what I’m getting!  Guess what?  Crap!  Also… my thumb looks really long.

Enjoying my birthday with my family because I had no friends at this point in time… seriously…

maybe it was because of this hideous haircut.  Yes, those are racing stripes and yes that is a mullet…

remember this post a while back about how much I hated mullets?  Maybe I should have made sure there wasn’t thing out there to blackmail me with.  Oh well… it’s almost been 20 years since I sported the ol’ “racing stripe mullet”… I can talk smack now.

Puberty wasn’t nice to me.  If you’re wondering… that’s a birthday “pie” with a “12” in the middle.  I also don’t have any friends to celebrate with me here.  Probably because I wore a shirt that said “Don’t Fight Naked” on it.

14th birthday.  What I’m wearing here was my typical homeschool attire: Looney Toons t-shirt and cardigan accompanied with sweat pants.

Then there’s suddenly a lull in Birthday photos.  Probably because I became to cool for them, grew up and started doing this:

Drinking cheap beer in college, hanging out with asian looking guys who I have no recollection of what their name is and growing hideous “pube” chin hair.

Taking pictures of myself with a throw away camera after I had jumped a barbed wire fence (and successfully ripped off my left eyebrow) in an effort to get my car that was 13 miles away.  Also… if you hadn’t already figured it out… I had been drinking.  I don’t recommend doing this.

Going to Vegas on minimal cash…

… and, uh… yeah… just basically… throwing my life away.  I really don’t have any other comment for this picture other than, “wow”.

Then I met a girl who really made my drunk and/or hung over ass look better in pictures:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Much better…

Then that girl gave me this:

Which made me do this:

Nice view from the mountain in our backyard…

Then that little girl turned into this:

And subsequently… we’re one big happy family:

Then I turned 30…

Let’s see what the next 30 years will bring shall we…

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14 responses to “Boy Is Born, Boy Gets Bad Haircut, Boy Does Stupid Things, Boy Meets Girl, Boy Makes Girl, Boy Turns 30

  1. 1st pic made me LOL…you look veritably terrified…

    4th pic, Pam looks like she’s ready to eat someone’s heart. My hair? My hair. My hair? WTH?

    6th pic, holy cow, it’s Josiah.

    7th pic, wow, Jim is hot.

    10th pic, holy cow, it’s Josiah again!

    by the way…puberty is kind to NO ONE. It’s an equal-opportunity suckfest.

    15th pic. Wooo-wee. Your cheeks are reeeeally rosy.

    17th pic, man you guys are hot.

    18-21: Yea, and amen. Infinity.

    22: LOL! But at least you resisted using the Nick Nolte mugshot.

    Love you gobs,
    Jenni

  2. Happy Birthday, Chris!

    Sent here from Jenni’s post…feel the love…

  3. All i need to say is my favorite pic “which made me to do this” God is good..he is ever present in our family more each day. Thank you for getting on your knees.

  4. Interesting post, i enjoyed it =D

  5. Happy Birthday! Your sister sent me over.

  6. Yeah, WTF! Josiah IS a clone of you! LOL Never noticed it THAT much before!

    Glad you had such a super birthday! :oD (andwowifeelsooldnow!)

  7. Really? A racing stripe mullet? NERD! Some of those pics of you in your party stage don’t even look like you! Lots of fun, Chris. Next year, it’ll be my turn! ::HUGS::

  8. Wow! I can’t even figure out where that pic of all of us in party mode was…crazy…glad you survived turning 30!!

    • Thanks!! That was taken in our first commons apartment actually Syd. I cropped the picture where you couldn’t see Jared (I think that was his name… wasn’t it… the Judo tool idiot roommate we were stuck with).

  9. Pingback: I’m A Simple Man « Hands To War

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