Movie Review: Jennifer’s Body

Total Running Time: 102 Minutes

Starring: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Adam Brody, Bad Acting

For those of you who don’t know… I’m a self-professed, shallow male who is a big fan of Megan Fox’s “body” of work.  Well… you can now make that “was a big fan”… in more ways than one.

The only reason I had any desire to see this movie (actually I bought it) yesterday was because it had Megan Fox in it.  If it had starred anyone else I might have given it a look at the $5 movie bin at Wal-Mart a year or so from now… but that’s it.

While I can’t say this is the first time I have bought a movie I haven’t seen yet and not liked it… I can say that it’s probably the most disappointed I’ve been in a long time at the outcome of the finished product.

Up until I watched this movie, I had only seen Fox in the two Transformers movies of which didn’t really require much acting… just mostly running in slow motion, looking terrified, screaming, standing there looking hot and the occasional line like “RUN SAM” or “LOOK OUT SAM” or “LET’S GET OUT OF HERE!”

My advice to her would be to stick with these kinds of roles.

In Jennifer’s Body she is the lead.  She is the one who drives the movie.  She is the one who all the 16 year old high school kids (who the movie was marketed to) couldn’t come to the movie theatre and see because the movie is rated “R”.  She is the one who rocketed the movie off the cliff and slammed it into a neighboring mountain… killing it instantly.

In the movie, Megan plays a high school cheerleader named Jennifer (following me so far?) who is quite simply a total slut… pardon the expression… but it is true.  After a misunderstanding she winds up as the unwilling participant in a tainted ritualistic sacrifice leaving her body to be inhabited by a demon.  A demon which can only survive off the FLESH OF HORNY TEENAGE BOYS!! 

Who comes up with this stuff?!

Well… her name is Diablo Cody and you might remember that name because she won an Academy Award for her screenplay: Juno.  Juno was a movie about teenage pregnancy, and while it might have had its Hollywood undertones, I thought it had its fair share of warm moments.  It also was an excellent vehicle for Ellen Page to showcase her fantastic acting ability and deliver Cody’s quirky script writing.

Diablo Cody’s better, more sufficient movie for her writing style…

Fox doesn’t deliver the same ability to deliver quirky lines or act and Cody’s quirky lines don’t work in a horror movie.

I am very sad to report that I had really hoped to be surprised by Fox’s acting ability so she’d prove to me that she was actually a good actress and could make it in Hollywood!  I wanted to believe that she hadn’t gotten to where she is because she looks so good.

I was wrong and I’m afraid people are going to figure out that she’s just another pretty face destined to eventually get her own reality dating show because no one wants her to bring their film down into the abyss of misfit movies.

I could go on about the unnecessary language, the obvious fact that Megan Fox could not pass as a teenager anymore and Cody’s obvious disenchantment with Christianity… but I won’t.  Instead I wanted to mention that in this movie Fox looks emaciated!  I would think that if her character is eating teenage boys she could have had a little more curves!?  Her best stick figure interpretation in this movie is only going to further the insecurity of impressionable girls!  While I don’t advocate obesity… I don’t advocate looking like you’re hung off a coat rack either.

Megan Fox in Jennifer’s Body

I still consider Megan Fox very pretty… but she’s been knocked back a few notches.  If I ever ran into her at Olive Garden… I might only spill part of my Chicken Con Broccoli… not all of it.

All in all… I give it two out of five nasty bearded guys…



3 responses to “Movie Review: Jennifer’s Body

  1. Is Megan Fox the same chick that was in “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen” with your least favorite actress, Lindsay Lohan?

    That was one of my girl’s favorite movies some years back.

  2. So, curiosity got the best of me and I googled it (albeit on my little screen).

    And guess what? That is the same chick.

    I had been trying to figure out where I recognized her from on your blog (and from when I saw the 1st transformers with my boy).

    She plays the snobby, popular bitch. 😉

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