A Conversation With A Dude Who Just Found Out He’s Pregnant

Okay… stay calm…

Pinch yourself… are you asleep?  Okay… you’re not.

Uh… are you sure?

Okay… I see all the pregnancy tests… why did you pee on them if you knew you were a dude?

Right… because you saw a hand trying to push out your stomach and you’ve gotten surprisingly fat, right… okay.  Are you sure it just wasn’t some bad chili?

Gotcha… okay… how far along to you think you are? 

Right, “shut up”… I will, okay… what are we going to do?

Hmmmm… Can I feel it?

Dude… it’s so like… a woman’s pregnant stomach!  I mean… this is some cool stuff… you could probably write a book about this or be on the “I didn’t know I was pregnant” show on TLC.

Uh-huh… but you’re a dude who likes football and poker night with your friends I know.

Well… then there’s going to be less of that now that you’re going to be a mom… I mean a dad.

Does Anne know?

WHAT!! YOU HAVEN’T TOLD HER!!  She’s going to be pissed you got pregnant before she did!

Right… you didn’t know you, a man, could get pregnant… I know!  That’s weird.

Well…the only thing I can think of is that you must be a chick and not a dude.


So… there you have it.  If you’re a dude and you happen to be pregnant… then you’re not actually a dude… you’re a chick.  There’s nothing you can do about it. Sorry.

Hope this story helps everyone.


2 responses to “A Conversation With A Dude Who Just Found Out He’s Pregnant

  1. The whole No Junk thing should have given it away.

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