Choose Your Fate


Do you remember those books when you were a kid that made you the decision maker on the fate of the character in the book?  They were called “Choose Your Own Adventure”.

For example, from the book “The Cave of Time”:

You come to a fork in the road.  If you travel to the left you are going down a paved road that would seem to be easy on your aching feet and there also appears to be a Hooters at the first  intersection.  If you travel to the right you are going down a beaten path through the horrible woods of Cragglesnot, known to be a place where people go to have their muscles torn from their skeletal system .

If you decide to go down the road to the left, turn to page 37.

If you decide to go down the road to the right, turn to page 89.

If you were like me… you’d go down the road on the left!  “HOOTERS!!  Hell’s yeah!!”

What a combo right!? (wanna make your own sign? Click here)

But… SURPRISE!! I’d turn to page 37 to find out that:

You travel down the paved road to the left and you were right… it’s much easier on your feet.  As you reach the Hooters… you realize it doesn’t actually say “Hooters”… it says “Zombies”!!  Shortly after your initial disappointment you feel a stinging sensation in your right calf.  Looking down you see one of the patrons of the restaurant latched to your calf and gnawing away at your leg which quickly becomes torn from your hip socket.

And you thought you were going to Hooters… SUCKA!!!

Now with only one leg, and like a wounded animal, you try to escape back to the fork in the road where you made this awful decision.  But it’s too little… too late.  A few of the other restaurant employees catch you before you make it much further.  They divide your body into white and dark meat sections and you’re consumed for Friday night’s dinner special.  They shrink your head and then they fry it until it’s a nice golden brown and placed with the other fried, shrunken heads as part of the appetizer known as “Fried Heads”. Who knew these Zombies were so efficient?

The last thing you think before being separated into drumsticks, thighs, lats, pecs and delts… is “I wonder what was down the other path?”.

YOU’RE DEAD!

THE END.

Wow.  You didn’t see that one coming did you?!  I thought I was going to be enjoying some “tasty” wings at the “fine” establishment known for its “tasty food” when BAM!!!!!! 

Zombies.

Now… if you were suave enough to notice that the road to the left was “too good to be true” and decided to take the more treacherous path… well… let’s see what happened if you turned to page 89:

Believing that what you’re seeing must be too good to be true… you decide to take the path to the right which appears to be more dangerous. 

*GULP*

As you travel down the path, you are continually startled by the sounds of cracking twigs and rustling bushes.  You’re minds playing tricks on you.  You fully expect at any moment to be torn to pieces.

Suddenly, you walk into a clearing and are shocked to find yourself standing on the beach.  Sand dunes stand taller than houses, a cool breeze runs through your hair and you can hear the ocean calling you.  You make your way over a few sand dunes and walk onto the beach.

grayton-beach-dunes.jpg image by 1HOTWGN

WAIT!  WHAT?

As you stand staring at the ocean, wondering why there was such a horrific story associated with this forest, a beautiful model in a designer bikini splashes out of the ocean.

It’s not just any model… it’s a tall, beautiful, brunette fitness model.  She asks you if you want to play beach volleyball with her and her other fitness model friends.

A few short seconds later, you’re the only guy in a bikini volleyball game between The Girls That Exist Only In Your Dreams and The Girls Who Would Never Give You The Time Of Day Except In This Stupid Book.

The furthest thing from your mind at this point was what could have been down that other fork in the road.

To “accidentally” fall on that tall brunette to your left, turn to page 55.

To impress the girls by finding some way to flex your muscles, turn to page 98

To pretend you’re having a heart attack just so they’ll try mouth to mouth resuscitation on you, turn to page 22.

To poop your pants because you don’t know what else to do, turn to page 100.

Wow.  You didn’t see that one coming either did you?!  You thought you were going to die and all of a sudden you were playing a volleyball game with buxom girls in bikinis!

So what’s the point of this whole post?

I really don’t know. 

I had a reason when I started and then my mind kind of wandered off in a different direction as I wrote.  Maybe because those kinds of books are stupid?  I don’t remember.

Regardless… I may have happened on a fairly interesting concept for blog posts here!  I could post a situation with a few options on what to do.  Then you (the reader) could leave me a comment on which path to take.  Then in a following post, after all the votes are tallied… I can write the outcome!

What do you think?! 

If you want me to continue on this path… leave me a comment.

If you don’t want me to continue on this path… leave me a comment.

Either way… leave me a comment you commentless bunch of readers!!

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7 responses to “Choose Your Fate

  1. What are you talking about?!? Those books were awesome and the only reason I read books during my tween years.

    • I stand corrected Eric. You are right… when I was a kid… they were pretty awesome and probably the only reason I read as well. I suppose in retrospect though… they were pretty simplistic compared to the kind of technology we have nowadays…

  2. wow these books were the only reason i read as well growing up. maybe they were the only reason the majority of the tween boys actually did read. And i think your idea is very interesting like to see that out come of that. cheers chris!

  3. This is your obligatory comment! You’re welcome!

    Actually, I also want to say that that zombie pic is really gross. And I never liked those books because I always felt compelled to find EVERY POSSIBLE PERMUTATION of the situation, and it drove me crazy.

  4. I want you to continue on the second path. I kinda like that path. Not sure why, it just feels right, ya know. Yeah.

  5. Mollien (Mom) Koenig

    Sure, go ahead. I mean, well, maybe not. But probably. Still…let me think about this a minute. If you do, then…hmmm….but then if you don’t, hmmmm then too. Which would be bad. Or good, as the case may be. Whatever that means. This is a HARD question. Do you or don’t you, will you or won’t you, can you or can’t you? I can’t say. For sure. I’m really tired now.

  6. I always cheated with those books, and kept my thumb marking the ‘decision page’ so I could go back and choose the other path if the one I chose didn’t work out. Then I would read all the outcomes just to see how they turned out. What I’m trying to say is, I’m game. Should be entertaining! And I can’t really cheat!

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