So a quick note: JOIN MY FANROLL!!! Seriously people… get yourself some traffic and use your creative genius to send me something cool!
Also… for those of you who’ve been asking about “The Hangover: Pre-Papa K Style (Part 2)”… you’ll just have to be patient (read Part 1 here). It’s coming. I promise.
I get bored with one look pretty fast… so consequently I’m always trying these different facial hair styles. These are the ones that Bunny hated… and I have to agree… they did kind of make me look like a douchebag. I’m going to count down from the “least douchebaggy” to the “most douchebaggy”. Also, if you sport these facial hair styles, it doesn’t mean you look like a douchebag… it just means you much be much cooler than me… which is pretty hard to do.
5. The Chin Strap:
This is me with my much more tan brother (and a large mug of apple juice). I’m actually pretty partial to this look and I don’t know why. It’s really hard to keep up with it and make sure it’s even all around your jawline. Maybe I liked it because I liked Smash Mouth when they were still around.
Steve Harwell… Smash Mouth lead singer and chin strap beard wearer extraordinaire.
4. The goatee (with moustache):
This look is just an example of me trying TOO HARD to look like Colin Farrell:
For whatever reason… my moustache hair doesn’t grow out very thick or very dark. Also the thin line connecting my ‘stache to my chin pubes… isn’t very strong either. So, I wind up looking like a complete douchebag.
3. The unkempt:
This is where I throw all caution to the wind and say “Screw this… I’m not shaving for several weeks and I’ll just see what happens!” The result is Grizzly Adams:
Alright… maybe not quite… but it’s certainly on its way.
2. The goatee (without moustache):
Okay. So I’m beyond looking like a douchebag right here (if that’s even possible). I’ve now moved to “Chode” status (Mom… Chode is a derogatory slang word for Moron). Why I felt the need to look like this… I have no idea. I also look slightly bloated like and if you pricked my face with a safety pin I might just explode like a helium balloon.
I guess I could always dye it like I did in college:
Yes… I was even a douchebag in college. Wanna read about me burning the crap out of my chin trying to look cool? Click here.
1. The pirate and/or porn star beard:
Let me just say something… I never grew this for public consumption. I would never wear this in the midst of unfamiliar people for fear of being eviscerated. The only reason I grew it was because I was on a two week hiatus between jobs and wanted to freak Bunny out. I succeeded. When she walked in the door and saw me for the first time, I said, “ARRRRGG… I want me some of that booty.” She then kicked me in the face.
So… let’s review. Esentially… no facial hair looks good on me. What should I try to grow next?