Getting Older is Weird


I always liked the saying, “Carpe Diem”.  It’s a Latin word meaning “seize the day”.  It has a nice ring to it.  Essentially… it means “live every day like it’s your last”. 

While I always like to say, “Carpe Diem Dude!”  I can’t say I’m the most Carpe Diem-ish person on the face of the planet.  I figure that guy has to be some surfer off the coast of Hawaii.

Some of the time, I do live my life like it’s my last day alive… but that’s usually coupled with depression.  I fear the worst is going to happen.

Why?

Well, I suffer from a variety of different things: OCD, anxiety and depression.  These afflictions don’t render me immovable… but they cling to me like a thousand tiny ticks sucking the life energy out of me.

Sometimes my tick repellent is working better some days than others.

While I’m light years away from where my OCD, depression and anxiety were a year ago, there are still times when I want to crawl in a hole.

So I come back to “Carpe Diem”.  Why is it just seize the day?  Are we all assuming we’re going to just live today… and that’s it!?  Why can’t it be “Carpe Life”?  Seizing your life sounds a lot better than just one day.

I understand the concept of living life to the fullest every day because you never know when “your time” may come… but let’s all assume we’re going to die at the ripe age of 90.  Why crowd everything into one day if you’re going to live that long?  If I had the choice of skydiving, base-jumping, big game hunting and being a rodeo clown all in one day then dying in plane crash the next day OR living to see my grandkid’s kids… I’d choose the latter.

I guess what I’m getting at is… why imagine that you could be gone tomorrow?  Live like you’re going to experience life to the ripe age of 90.  This is my reality.  If I worry about everything in the moment I’m never going to be able to see outside the bounds of that box I’ve put myself in.

If I envision my life the way I picture it to be 60 years from now and strive to attain it… then I’ll have something to keep my OCD brain busy.

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3 responses to “Getting Older is Weird

  1. good blog chris. kinda comforting to know not the only ones with issuse like that. good to know your handling it better now, writing your blog probley helps keep your focus too haha. whatever is working keep at. cheers.

  2. Carpe the crap out of that diem! is what I like to say.

    I don’t actually say that, it just came to me right now and I thought it was funny.

    Most of the time I live as though I am never going to die, which enables me to waste as much time as I want to on the computer and never achieve any sort of real change in anyone’s life. Great system, no?

  3. Very good philosophy on life! I never understood that either. If I lived just for today then I would spend every bit of money I have (which isn’t much) on fun things to do today, I would quit my job (because who needs a job if I’m going to be dead tomorrow). Hell, I’d be broke and homeless in a few weeks. 😀 Living another 50 years broke and homeless doesn’t sound too enjoyable to me.

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