As they say, “Everyone Poops” and likewise… everyone farts as well. I’m sure in the old days when Grace Kelly got into her limo after partying with the Prince of Monaco; she breathed a sigh of relief because she had been holding it in way too long. Then she would relax and her cheeks would flap together like a clapping seal.
Grace Kelly: movie starlet, princess of Monaco and abashed flatualator
I know that some people have been married for years and have never ever passed gas in front of the other. I personally don’t agree with this stance. Let it go! Hey… it’s life! Laugh about it! It’s funny! What is your posterior saying? Is it letting out a forceful and firm “HELLO” or is it saying “Ugh… why did you mix sushi and ice tea again?”
Like my fascination with boobies there is this strange 4th grade mentality I have with flatulence. There are obviously times where the toot is inappropriate i.e. funerals, those sad moments in the movie where the lead dies, baptisms, child-birth, presidential addresses, “adult time”, right before you hike a football, etc.
My dad used to raise his voice when he felt a toot coming on in an effort to cover up the noise but wound up just sounding even sillier. Hell… he didn’t even have to be saying anything at the time. I could be talking and he would just yell “WHAT!” or “SHOOBY DO WOP!” right in the middle of my sentence then go back to listening to me like nothing had happened. Usually, this threw me off and I completely forgot what I was talking about.
Bunny and I just had a pretty serious talk about my poots. She wants me to make a conscious effort to stifle any award-winning charge I feel rocketing through my lower intestine. After our mini-intervention on this subject… I felt like I probably needed to sew it up a little tighter. Which I now have done.
One thing I have noticed since this happened… the house just doesn’t seem to have the same joy in once had.
I got DLG hooked on the whoopie cushion though… so not all hope is lost.
Laughter once again returns to our house…