No you perv… I’m not talking about my testicles!! You think I’m some kind of freakin’ freak? I’m talking about all the junk cleverly hidden all throughout our house!
Weirdo. What kind of blog do you think I’m running here?
Anyway, back before DLG was born, Bunny and I decided to clean out each and every nook and cranny of our house in preparation for the arrival of our little one. We meticulously scoured every room, every closet, every drawer and every cabinet of our house and successfully gathered enough crap to acquire $350 worth of cash at our garage sale.
That was almost two years ago.
We need another one.
How does this happen? We’re not particularly “rich folk” that squander our money on golden shoelaces and diamond-rimmed Styrofoam cups. We buy block cheese… only them “rich folk” can afford that “shredded kind”. We don’t buy “Post-It Notes”… we buy “Post ‘Em Notes”, the bastard child of the “Post” family.
You’ll know you’ve “made it” when you can afford this stuff on a regular basis. Us normal folk have to shred it ourselves.
Yes somehow we manage to accumulate “stuff”. While it may not appear if you walked into our house that we were particularly cluttered (and we’re not), then you haven’t opened a closet door, a drawer or gotten brave enough to look in our attic (God save us all). In fact I don’t know if “accumulate” is the correct word… we “absorb” stuff… kind of like “The Blob”.
I sure am using quotations a lot in this post… kinda like Chris Farley… loved him…
Gone far too soon…
Anyway… we absorb things because while it outwardly may seem we’re pretty clean people we actually just do a very good job of keeping things out of sight and consequently… out of mind.
Kind of like the booger I just wiped into the deep inner recesses of our couch.
One of the things on my “to do” list this summer is to clean out my attic:
An unassuming door, the tip of the iceberg, the whole kit and kaboodle
If you don’t hear from me in several days… I’ve been eaten by the giant rats and spiders that have procreated in this virtual megatropolis for the vermin I can only most closely relate to the spawn of the devil.
Wish me luck. I’m goin’ in (some day).