Someone Out There Doesn’t Like Me: Part II

And this time his name is Matt.

Several posts ago… I wrote about how I’d upset a reader because she happened to know an artist who’d given me one of my tattoos and I didn’t talk about her in the most positive light i.e. I referred to her as a whale.

So… perhaps I deserved a little bit of what I got.  I’ll admit that.  I got a little bit of my own medicine.

But on the eve of my return to blogging, I logged into the home page of my blog and after wading through the mountains of spam I’d received from my month-long hiatus… I was faced with this comment awaiting my approval in regards to the third post I’d written regarding the history of my tattoos:

I actually have the same emma frost tattoo on my forearm and i must say mine is a shit load more detailed and alot closer to the actual picture i kept the bench and the rose and the stone path as it adds some depth and doesn’t look like she is just hovering your colors are off alot just plain white is not how she looks because of the setting sun there is alot of reflected colors that were not incorporated into it your outline is ridiculously thick black my ouline. All in all fuck you for taking my original idea and getting this shitty artist to butcher it brutes why is she looking down for fucks sake!! that’s not in the picture

This is the “original idea” that Mr. Raging PMS was crying about…

… and the original photo from whence it came

So… if you’re wondering if I approved it… I did.

I wanted everyone to see what an incredible douchebag this dude is.  Through his seemingly incapable ability to formulate any kind of telligible phrase he castrates my innate ability to get a quality tattoo.  Now… this isn’t my mothers (or my sisters, or my wifes) favorite tattoo and in all honesty isn’t really mine either.  There are aspects of it that don’t capture the entirety of the original… but I outlined Matt’s complete ineptitude in my response:

I did it just to piss you off Matt. Who says you have to stick with the way the original picture actually looks? The eventual end to the whole leg piece will involve a background where everything will tie in together. Didn’t you read what I wrote or did you just look at the picture? I took out the rose and the stone path because it wouldn’t go with how my leg will end up. The line work is difficult to do on a knee because the skin stretches and makes the line look bigger than it actually is. I wasn’t aware that you wrote a rulebook on the proper way to get tattooed. Take anyone aside who has a decent amount of work done and they’re guarenteed to have some work that doesn’t quite cut it. So, sorry it doesn’t look “a shit load” better than yours but I gotta say you either gotta be real tough, really drunk or high to leave an anonymous comment directed at how one of my tattoos look. A mark of a true douchebag. Way to go.

Sometimes it’s better to keep your ideas to yourself than making yourself look like a complete jackass. 

(1) If you’re going to try and make a point… write like an intelligent idiot instead writing like you’ve just graduated 2nd grade.

(2) I can see Matt wearing his confederate flag t-shirt, hunched over his sticky keyboard writing his comment after he’s drank an entire case of Keystone light by himself because no one wants to put up with his bullshit or mullet any more.  If you’re trying to make a point… illustrate what’s wrong without making yourself appear as though you’re trying to compensate for other shortcomings you may have.

and (3) Don’t try to have a war of written words with Papa K… because he’ll always win.

My Photos | WATCH OUT!!  I could seriously collapse your skull with one kick | Papa Koenig

And I can collapse your skull with a single kick to the cranium

If anyone wants to let Matt know what they think of his extreme inability to form a complete sentence, spell the word “outline”, pick up chicks or not look like a douchebag then please be my guest and email him at: because I did. 

Oh yeah… don’t leave me your email… because I’ll make sure you get spammed.


20 responses to “Someone Out There Doesn’t Like Me: Part II

  1. I never knew the subject of tattoos could be so incindiary! I love how he implies that you stole his idea, as though getting tattooed with superheroes was such a revolutionary, startling concept that only one person in the whole world was capable of envisioning it.

  2. Who cares, only you do.

  3. Ugh. When will people just freaking worry about themselves? I would have written back that you butchered it on purpose because the ONLY thing you really wanted to do that day was make him mad.

  4. Lovin’ the honesty! I didn’t know this guy had a monopoly on a picture or character. By the way, the part about Keystone Light made me laugh. I wouldn’t relive the Keystone days for anything, they were dark and ugly,, probably what causes this guy’s bad mood. 🙂

  5. Chris,

    Id be happy to drop a gigantic mushroom stamp on his forehead if he keeps running his mouth. He is probably the same guy that rushes in every article to type “1st”

  6. “…my original idea…” Um? I don’t think so. An original idea, Matt, would be *your own* drawing, not a copy of someone else’s. What is so freakin’ original about having a picture copied *exactly* into a tattoo?? (unless of course, it’s a picture of your kid, which in fact, you helped make) In fact, at least our friend here Papa K altered the picture slightly (and has plans to incoprorate a different background) so that he will have a *custom* tattoo and not have to walk around having the exact same picture tattooed on him as other Milwaukee’s Best Light drinking redneck wannabees like you. I would say intelligent folks, such as Papa K and myself, have a preference for custom tattoos. Nothing is more uncool than showing off your tattoos only to have someone else rip out the same POS flash (if you don’t know what flash is Matt, you probably have some tattooed on you) art from some stock artist done exactly the same way.

  7. I think the picture at the end of the post says it all. Or, you could do a round-house kick “Road House” style.

  8. I don’t have any tattoos so maybe I don’t quite grasp the concept. Are people really that territorial over an image? Sounds like this guy is mostly pissed because he thinks you “stole his idea”. That, in my opinion, is the weirdest part of this. He seems to be claiming ownership of the drawing even though he didn’t draw it. In fact, he’s just the canvas, not even the re-interpretive artist. Sure, he has a direction he wants to go, as do you, but how can he claim ownership of something he didn’t produce? Anyway — yeah, I agree. He’s a douche.

  9. Papa K –

    I gave you an award at my blog. It’s going to make you laugh. It is a girly award…..but I don’t care. You get it too. You make me laugh, and dang it, I need that sometimes. (Yes, I realize that was a run-on sentence. And I homeschool. Scary. I know.)

    • chriskoenig4324

      Hey… I don’t care if its a girly award or not… I’ll take it! I ain’t skeered. Also… I don’t know what a “run-on sentance is”….

  10. Okay. WHAT have I been telling you all these years? Tattoos will get you in all KINDS of trouble – you will draw by some invisible, heinous force, wierdness to you. Can we talk about something else? Please?

    Btw, I’m glad you’re back. Now, as an antidote to this post, give me some DLG photos.

  11. And also…in that photo at the top of the page, shouldn’t your jaw go in the OTHER direction? I mean, the guy is slugging you on the left side of your face…shouldn’t your jaw go in that direction? Huh? huh? huh?

    • chriskoenig4324

      Yes mother… I actually have noticed the “jaw going in the opposite direction of how I’m getting punched” thing… I was improvising at the time and didn’t think I’d ever be posting it as a header to my blog. Oh well…

  12. Truly a man-blog. Doesn’t “know what a run-on sentence is”. Ha!

    (And I don’t know how to fancy pants comment right back under your comment with my dang phone.)

  13. well said , Chris !!! someday , I’ll tell you about my “Deliverance” clients a couple weeks ago……………the daughter in law ( about 25) had 2 tattoos in plain site……actually ON SHOW on her shoulders…..they were mirror images of each other………..2 PENISes……about 5 or 6 inches long……….and to top it all off…they were ‘spitting’ ……..I seriously thought I was on some kind of “Punked” or “Candid Camera” show……….unbelievable !!

    • chriskoenig4324

      You know… I had this book called “1000 tattoos” (which I actually just sold last weekend at a garage sale) where one of the pictures listed is EXACTLY what you’re talking about. This chick had a necklace of about 6 or 7 penises and each one of them was “spitting”! They also had a picture of her back including her rear. Firmly planted in the middle of both cheeks were two swastikas made of penises. People are freakin’ weird.

  14. I rest my case.

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