Excuse Me While I Waste Your Time


Day eleven of 30 posts in 30 days.  

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It amazes me how far-reaching spam goes.  

     

No… not that spam…    

When I say “spam” I mean a “Stupid, Pointless, Annoying Message”.    

My work email gets spammed from people like “Mrs. Shinawatra” from Thailand requesting my assistance in “this most urgent matter”:    

My Name is Mrs. Shinawatra, The wife of Ex Thailand Prime Minister who is now on self exile .    

A week ago a politically motivated court in Thailand issued an order for the frozening of My husbands assets.   

In the light of the above my husband has asked me to contact you for possible assisatnce for his Family to invest a total sum of $60M as he said that he has known or noticed you sometime ago when he visited yoir country on Investment/Bileteral talks,At this moment the funds are deposited in a financial institution in Europe{Global Asset Managers} , We are willing to give you 30% of the total sum as your compensation after or before the investment is done in any country of your choice that has a political stability. Upon receipt of our letter of intent, you can contact me directly on email address as follows or You should contact the Manager of Global Asset Managers Mr Michael Global through this Email address thus:imichael@globalassetweb.com    

Awaiting your urgent response.  

  

Regards    

Mrs. P. Shinawatra    

Alright. First if all… it’s called “Spell Check”.  Secondly, how dense do people think I am?  Seriously?  $60 Million dollars?  Do people actually fall for this crap?    

I got a text message on my phone the other day from someone stating to be Chase Bank requesting that I call them immediately because there’d been a mass amount of money spent on my account and the needed to verify some things with me.  Okay… I don’t even have a Chase account and why would a bank text me with a request to call them?     

WHY DON’T YOU MO-FO’S WHO ARE TRYING TO TRICK EVERYONE GET A REAL JOB!!!    

Lastly… my blog is getting spammed!  Each and every time one of you comments on this (incredible, amazing, hilarious, tear-inducing yet gut-busting) blog… I get to view your comment usually before everyone else does.  Sometimes there are comments like this from an individual known only as “Bedroom Furniture”(?):    

Oh my god you’ll not belief that. My stupid kitty simply farted on my leg!? I mean what is the matter with that!? I nourish this thing and I receive that in return. I yet can not belief this. Anyway, you have some interesting facts there in your post. I knew Google are going to bring me to a few unique stuff today  . O . k . need to search for this animal now! Have a good evening you all!    

Okay… what?  There was a link provided to this “persons” URL… I didn’t click on it but lemme tell you… I was tempted.  If “Bedroom Furniture” wants some traffic on his/her/its website then it better rethink some strategy there.  
  
Hmmmmm… I wonder if there’s any jobs out there for copy writers in the SPAM industry because I can come up with some pretty good crap sometimes.
 
What’s some of the best (or funny, ridiculous, idiotic) SPAM you’ve received?
 
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Wanna catch up with another blogger from the blogosphere that is fortunate enough to receive my business?
 
Perhaps one day I hope to have as many views as Us And Them or also knows as Richmond Zoo.  I like the name he gives himself personally: Captain Dumbass.  Captain Dumbasses’ most recent post I found hilarious.  Seems that his VERY pregnant wife allowed him to draw various and sundry things on her bulging belly and wrote a quick post about it.d
 
So join me in welcoming his newest addition to the Richmond Zoo.
 
Or click on Captain Dumbasses icon and it’ll take you there:
 

  
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5 responses to “Excuse Me While I Waste Your Time

  1. Frozening? That email, and the “comment” seriously cracked me up. What I truly don’t understand are the spam comments that are nothing but gibberish, I mean real gibberish, with a link inserted. WHY? Do people actually click on those links?? Who would be that stupid? I guess somebody is or they wouldn’t bother; but yeah, seems like just getting a regular job would be a whole lot more efficient.

  2. Those are annoying, but I got one better. When we were looking for a place to live, someone had taken an actual rental listing and posted it as their own on Craigslist. When I emailed I was interested in looking at the place, they said that they used to live there with their wife and daughter, but had moved to South Africa for work. So they wanted me to send them the down payment and rent check, then they would mail me the keys. Yeah. Right. I always love how when they scam people, they emphasize how they are “good” people, and ALWAYS say, “God Bless.” *uckers.

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