How My Wife Can Get Me To Do Anything


Day twenty-two of 30 posts in 30 days

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So I’m  going to cheat on my post today and post a slightly edited post I posted on my previous blog about a year ago.  How many times can I say the word “post”.

Not to sound too much like a typical dude… but when I first met my wife… my eyes weren’t drawn to her loving, caring soul or her desire to be completely committed to me if I turned out to be “the one”.  The plunging neckline of her white tank top had me timing the moments where she looked away to steal a glance into sights that pumped blood through the chambers of my heart a little faster than usual.

This totally unedited photo caught me in the act of looking down Bunny’s shirt

My sister always told me I would marry a girl with giant flesh pillows.  She always attributed my love for the enlarged female pectorals on the fact that I was nursed as a baby until well after my first birthday.  This may have affected my unconscious memory to a point where I knew there was comfort, sustenance and happiness to be found in between the two of the greatest wonders of Gods creation.

Don’t let the face (or double chin) fool you… I’m comfortable, sustained and extremely happy.

I definitely would not say that if Bunny wasn’t sporting a pair to my liking… I wouldn’t have been interested in her because that is the furthest from the truth.  The fact that she was on her way to back problems past the age of 50 certainly received an immediate check mark on my list of “Things I Like About Bunny”… next to “Incredible Laugh and Smile”, “Beautiful Face”, “Hypnotic Eyes”, “Ridiculously White Teeth” and “Easy to Talk to”.

Again… this completely unedited picture shows me sucumbing to the gravitational eye pull of Bunny’s boobs… fortunately for the other guy in the picture he was able to overcome because he knew that I would smash him like a egg shell if I caught him looking…

Like most men, I am a visual person.  My initial attraction to Bunny was a physical one, and really… there’s nothing wrong with that.  If she hadn’t been wearing a swimsuit the size of two pieces of pepperoni held together with dental floss… oh wait… that was a different time!! Sorry…

Let me start over… like most men, I am a visual person.  My initial attraction to Bunny was a physical one, and really… there’s nothing wrong with that.  If she hadn’t been wearing that airline stewardess outfit and asked me if I “wanted to join the ‘Mile High’ club” then… wait… dangit!!  That was my dream last night.

One more time… like most men, I am a visual person.  My initial attraction to Bunny was a physical one, and really… there’s nothing wrong with that.  If she hadn’t been wearing what she was wearing the initial attraction might not have been there to learn everything I know about her now.

So… I’m not scared to say that her breasts brought us together.  Perhaps God had a different plan in mind when he destined our lives together before time began… perhaps “plan A” was to meet at a bible study.  But as seeing that our lives didn’t work out that way, the magnetic pull towards each other converged over cleavage and smoke at a bar.  I’m sure that was somewhere around “Plan ZZ”.  Now, in some backwards way, we’re having bible studies together and staying away from the bar.

If she knew any better… those weapons are a good way to get me to do chores and menial tasks around the house.  Hmmm.  Food for thought there honey.

If I had a beer right now, I’d raise my glass and say a toast to the greatest boobs the world has ever known… but will never see… except for me that is. 

Yeeessssssssss….

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Who’s going to get my bloggy link of the day?

Creative-Type Dad was one of the first daddy bloggers I discovered.  He hasn’t been posting very often (recently because his wife just had a baby and he got the chicken pox!) but when he does I generally read an make a comment.  And you should too.

Click the newborn to go there too:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

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2 responses to “How My Wife Can Get Me To Do Anything

  1. I love that Breastfeeding picture!!

  2. I was crucified a looooong time ago for writing about this very thing. Those saggy bra la leche leaguers do not like to be naysayed, apparently. But I’m with you. And Kim. (Who?) There’s no reason not to breastfeed in public and there’s no damn reason on earth not to do it discreetly. How hard is it to cover up? And changing a diaper on a table? My germaphobe brain is bleeding.

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