Papa K’s Top Five Chick Flicks That Won’t Result In Having To Remove Your Balls If You Watch Them


We’ve all had this conversation with our estrogen-enriched counterparts: 

“Let’s watch ‘Zombieland’!” 

“No… we watched your movie last time!” 

“What!?  We watched 2012…. I thought you wanted to see that movie! “ 

“No.  You picked it out and I said it was ‘okay’… you didn’t rent that movie for me!  You’d been wanting to see that movie forever!” 

“Well… yes, but I got it because I wanted a movie YOU could enjoy too!  Zombieland looks awesome!  You’d like it!” 

“No. No I wouldn’t… I want to watch ‘Valentine’s Day’.” 

“Ugh.  Just rip off my testicles now… it’ll be more enjoyable.” 

Unless you’re blessed with having a spouse or girlfriend that actually enjoys sitting through “The Terminator” or “Gladiator” or some other movie that makes your testosterone rocket through the top of your skull then you’ve had to endure sitting through what’s classically known as “The Chick Flick”.  

What’s upsetting is that sometimes, about halfway through the movie, I find myself actually engrossed in the film!  So, in order to make myself feel better, I’m going to list my top five chick flicks that you don’t have to get your balls cut off for watching (we’ll do a list for those movies that will require you to remove your testicles some time later). 

5.  Serendipity 

 

John Cusack has the romantic comedy market covered (Say Anything, Must Love Dogs, etc.).  In this Rom-Com chick flick, John finds himself opposite the always stunningly beautiful Kate Beckinsale (one good reason it’s a good choice for manly men to watch it) in a story about how fate is only how you make it.  

In the movie, after just meeting each other, John’s character finds himself struck with the love bug for Kate… only when a gust of wind blows away her number that’s scrawled on a small scrap of paper is when Kate’s character begins to believe that fate interceded.  One final push on the part of him to just write her number down again results in her convincing him that if they are meant to be together then fate will indeed bring them back into each others lives.

Blah blah blah… I know… sounds a little too mushy, pooshy, cutesy, wootsy for most dudes.  I honestly can’t tell you a good reason, as a dude, that I liked this movie… but I did.  It was clever, witty, funny and cute.  Wait… did I just say cute?  I mean… it’s rockin’ awesome cool.

4. The Father of the Bride 

 

 I first watched this movie when I was about thirteen or so and even at that age I felt like I was going to eventually be the same kind of father that Steve Martin is in the movie.  I will fall nothing short of a crazed buffoon meandering around wondering what the hell happened to my little girl, when I became so damn old and when would be a good opportunity to KILL that asshole boy that’s stealing my little girl away from me!

TFOTB shouldn’t really be classified as a “chick flick” per se… or at least I don’t think it should.  Rather… I think it should be recommended watching for all dad’s who have daughters because it really is quite funny.

On a separate note, Steve Martin plays a father so well in this movie (and others like “A Simple Twist Of Fate” and “TFOTB2”) that I’m really shocked he never became a father himself!  Hey Steve… it’s never too late!

3.  First Knight 

 

There would be an argument in certain circles as to if this is actually a “chick flick”.  I say it is because it takes place in medieval times, there’s a damsel in distress(Julia Ormond), a brooding old king who’s in love with her (Sean Connery) and Richard Geere with long hair that he flips around a lot in slow motion sword fights. 

Definitely a “chick flick”.

But despite these qualifying points… it also has some nifty fight scenes that make up for the gooshy smoochy parts.  Especially the ending fight scene right after Sean Connery gets shot with several arrows and yells “Camelot LIVES!” before falling to the ground.  Ooooooh man.  That really pisses a lot of people off. 

A scene from “First Knight”

BONUS:  Julia Ormond in the rain… all wet… looking forlorn…

2.  The Princess Bride 

 

  

My sister knows the dialogue in this movie from beginning to end.  Needless to say it’s her favorite movie (I think).  I can’t go so far as to say it’s my favorite movie… or really in my top ten!  But it’s definitely a must-see.  Despite it’s “silly non-dudetastic” simple movie title that may turn most dudes away from it entirely… it’s actually quite hilarious!

Starring Cary Elwes in perhaps his least douchey movie (Saw? Twister?) and Robin Wright (Penn?  Is she still married to Sean Penn?) the movie takes place in a young boys (a Wonder Years’ Fred Savage) imagination as his grandfather reads him a book by the same name. 

The movie lends itself to moments of lovey, dovey, smoochyness… but with its biting wit, fight scenes and a cameo by Billy Crystal… it’s got something for everyone.

1.  Ghost 

   

 Alright.  I don’t know how much crap I’m gonna receive for this one… but I liked “Ghost”.  Despite it’s kind of simplistic views of Heaven and Hell (all “good” people go to Heaven and all “bad” people go to Hell) it again felt like it was something I would do… if in fact there was some way to bypass going to Heaven (I hope… if I wanted to) while I sorted out some last-minute Earthly issues.

If revenge is in the synopsis of any movie, it’s guaranteed to strike a chord with moviegoers.  “Ghost” is exactly that… wrapped up in a squishy, squeezey, cuddley, romantic movie package.  You don’t have to give up your testicles to watch it. 

But you might need a few tissues.

If you’re a girl.

A’hem!

———————————————————-

What “chick flicks” are “Dude Approved”?  Tell me.  I want to know what I missed.

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17 responses to “Papa K’s Top Five Chick Flicks That Won’t Result In Having To Remove Your Balls If You Watch Them

  1. Yep, I like them all! Pretty good list, but you left out the one – the title of which has completely left my (what’s left of it) brain – with David Decovny (sp?)whose wife’s heart was transplanted into the heroine who he later fell in love with. I’ll admit, that premise was so wierd at first, but it was a MIGHTY FINE movie. And…DON’T LIE TO ME…cause you were sitting right beside me – YOU LIKED IT! There are others which I don’t think any male should (note I said “should”) be ashamed to admit they liked. Guess I’ll have to make my own list…later.

    • Oh yes… Return to Me was in the running… although I didn’t list it as my TOP FIVE. Def a Top Ten though

  2. “Return to Me”…that’s the name of the movie! I had to sing every Dean Martin song I knew to think of it!

  3. How about “Nacho Libre”?

    What do you mean, that’s not a chick flick? I loved it!

  4. Since no one seems to be interested in responding to this list, I’ll put in my two cents worth. Your definition of a chick flick is, maybe, not quite precise enough. The movies you’ve listed all have what I would call simply “human interest”…they should appeal to anyone with a brain and even a smidgen of emotional capacity. True chick flicks, in my opinion, pretty much glorify everything female and if there are men in the movie, they’re usually window dressing or worse, every bad stereotype of a man that exists. I could name some but that would probably bring down the wrath of MS magazine upon me and who needs that? Romantic stories like “Runaway Bride” and “Notting Hill” for instance, like I said, should appeal to men too because they’re clever, funny and…well…romantic. Nuff said.

  5. Yeah, okay, Ghost was pretty good, and so was The Princess Bride. I’ll even agree that Father of the Bride was funny (but not the second one, that was just stupid).

    I’m lucky though. I have a wife who watched action movies with me. We both love fantasy and sci-fi stuff so we also watch SGU together and Dr. Who. She rocks!

  6. If I admit to seeing these, do the ball police come knocking on my door?

    I have not seen them. I am sticking to it.

    • No. This is the list that WONT require you to have your balls removed. I’m making another list that WILL require the “ball police” to come knocking at your door… among other things…

  7. I think Hitch is the perfect ‘date’ movie, its sort of a chick flick. Also most guys liked The Proposal, my husband actually did (and he HATES chick flicks) but I didn’t think it was all that great. Go figure!

  8. Decent list, though I’d remove Ghost. And Paul would tease you mercilessly for putting on the list at all. Mostly because Patrick Swayze blows snot bubbles. It’s true.
    A good one that has a little something for everyone is “Dangerous Beauty”. If you haven’t seen it, you should. Incredibly well written, awesome love story, steamy sex scenes – wait, did I say that out loud? No, I just typed it. You know that super hot chick that plays Mel Gibson’s wife before she gets murdered in Braveheart? Yeah, she’s the lead actress. SUCH a good movie. Trust me when I say you both would like it. Oh, and Rufus Sewell finally plays a non-bad guy!

  9. Sadly, I have First Knight on video! I’m amazed I admitted that.

    My favorite chick flick – Knotting Hill..very, very funny!

    UP

  10. My husband really liked The Holiday, which is also one of my favorites. Jack Black adds his personality to it, which I love. (Plus, it has beautiful women in it.) Have you seen it?

    • I have seen The Holiday actually. Although, I wasn’t crazy about it… Jack Black was the best part of the movie though. Thanks for reading!

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