Despite being vehemently “anti-fraternity” for my first several years in college… I finally drank the Kool-Aid and joined one. I actually held several offices during my stint. One of these was community service chairman. I was responsible for several fairly successful projects that helped generate positive feedback for our fraternity within the community.
I hit the gold mine of opportunities when I somehow got our guys hooked up to help “scare the kids” at a haunted house for the Campfire Girls. Several of our members, including myself, got to dress up as various scary individuals and got placed at intermittently throughout this pretty well constructed building that the Campfire parents had put together.
Since I orchestrated this whole activity, I got to choose the coolest mask of the bunch: Pinhead from the Hellraiser movies.
I peed my own pants I scared myself so bad
Aside from having the best mask… the Camp Fire Dads placed me in a relatively hidden spot where I was the last dude to scare these poor kids along their route through the haunted house. It was pitch black in the haunted house and I hid in a little inset area along the wall that wasn’t able to be seen if you were walking along the straight path. It was impossible to see me.
I actually managed to scare everyone. Even the older kids. In fact… in order to scare everyone I didn’t even have to scream some intelligible phrase like, “ARRRGHHH”!!!! Instead, when I would jump out, I would start screaming, “MILK DOES A BODY GOOD!” or “DO YOU LIKE HELLO KITTY!” or “DON’T SQUEZE YOUR PIMPLES… INSTEAD PUT YOUR FINGERS ON EITHER SIDE OF THE PIMPLE AND PULL AWAY FROM THE PIMPLE. THIS WILL STILL POP THE PIMPLE BUT WILL NOT RESULT IN ANY UNDUE REDNESS OR IRRITATION” and they would get just as scared because I was Pinhead. Pinhead is still scary giving you advice on how to squeeze your zits.
I could also hear which groups of kids were getting really REALLY REALLY scared before me. So I thought I would capture their fear with a disposable camera I just so happened to have in my possession. What resulted were two truly incredible pictures of some kids who were convinced that I was going to eviscerate them while giving them advice on what is the most efficient way to prevent forest fires. These are the pictures of some of my most hilarious moments… and it comes scaring little girls.
“ALWAYS CHECK AND MAKE SURE ALL CANDLES ARE BLOWN OUT BEFORE LEAVING YOUR HOUSE!!!!”
“BEFORE GETTING A TATTOO ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOUR TATTOO ARTIST GETS A NEW NEEDLE!!! YOU DON’T WANT TO GET AIDS FROM A TATTOO DO YOU??!!!”
I throughly enjoyed scaring those little girls. I hope I didn’t cause any permanent damage.