I Love Snot


I say that with every hint of sarcasm I can muster over a three word headline.

One of the things about becoming a parent is having to endure the seemingly endless ineptitude of other parents.  While perhaps I’ve stated my opinion about such things as leashes for kids or getting your infants ears pierced… I won’t pull any punches on this issue.

If you don’t wipe your kids nose… you deeply annoy me and I would like to filet your cranium over a nice steaming hot pile of caramelized onions then eat it for brunch.

Seriously parents… get a wet wipe or tissue or even use the sleeve of your shirt FOR POOPS SAKE and erase the railroad track of snot flowing from their little nostrils into the nether-regions of their mouth!

WHAT’S FOR LUNCH DAD?

Now… I get it.  Sometimes if your kid is playing somewhere off by themselves they might get a little snot dribble and you’re not aware the situation has surpassed.  My squabble is not with this situation… snot on a kid is ultimately unavoidable 100% of the time.

My issue is the length of time you allow it to fester and begin to affix itself to your kids upper lip!

On more than SEVERAL occasions I’ve been in a play area or playground or library or grocery store or any other place they allow small children and a mother or father is oblivious to the fact that their kid STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM is having issues keeping their snot in their nose where is belongs!

I was in a popular restaurant chain play area yesterday and there was a father there with his four-year-old.  I sat in freakishly stunned silence as this man let his kid run around the play area as though the snot running out of his nose into his mouth was all just about as normal as wearing a pair of pants.  It took everything I had to not say, “HERE!  HERE!  YOU CAN HAVE ONE OF MY WET WIPES JUST PLEASE WIPE YOUR KIDS NOSE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY!!”

But I didn’t.

I sat there and threw up in my mouth continuously until DLG rescued me from the moment when she told me she had to use the potty (yes… she’s almost potty trained). 

What is the issue here?  It seems pretty cut and dry to me!  Do some parents just not care?  Even in they didn’t care what other people thought of the never-ending stream of snot coming from their child’s nose don’t they NOT LIKE TO LOOK AT IT? 

Then again… some parents are pretty clueless like this douche:

Get a clue people…

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10 responses to “I Love Snot

  1. Ew. I hate that too! If I am out and I do not have a tissue, wet wipe, washcloth, etc. to wipe my kid’s nose *I use MY SLEEVE*. Because, well, it’s just that gross to leave it there. (For the record, I’ll use the very edge of my sleeve cuff and then roll it up, or in emergency situations I’ve been known to use the edge of my shirt or their shirt or their sleeve.) Anything is better than leaving it their! Ew, ew, ew!! Not only do I hate looking at it – but it must feel GROSS to them (it feels gross to me if I have snot!). So as a *courtesy* I have to wipe it off.

    Ew. Did I say that already?

    **Luke Perry rocks.**

  2. This is one subject, Papa K, where I COMPLETELY agree with you. I know, you’d thought it would never happen, right? Well, it has. The trouble can sometimes be that your kid just likes the taste of snot. (well, honestly, what kid doesn’t?). If I’m not quick enough, River will blow her nose WITHOUT a tissue, just so she can taste the delicious nectar running into her mouth. ::::shudder::::: But that doesn’t mean that I will let her do it on my watch!! Tissues at the ready!

  3. Holy crap you’re right! I guess I never realized I cared so much about this till you pointed it out. Plus, my kids run to me when there nose leaks the tiniest bit of snot for me to wipe. It’s really bad when you someone’s kid with green snot running down their nose. EWWW! Oh, it’s 9:55est right now, whatcha doing? I know the Rangers are on!

  4. Nice post bro! Agree with you totally, there are certain sundry items that parents should always keep on hand….kleenex is one of them…geez!

    After reading this you will appreciate my next one…

  5. We are constantly wiping Lukas’ nose right now because he has a cold. I actually a couple of hours ago wiped his nose with a clean leaf because I didn’t have a tissue handy. Must be wiped.

  6. WIPE, DON’T WAIT! that’s my motto. Yuck. I still remember with horror watching the movie “Camelot”. There was this lovely, romantic scene with Vanessa Redgrave and whoever played Prince Valiant (Franco Nero? Robert Goulet? Anybody, anybody, anybody old like me remember?)…anyway, there were tears running down the lovers’ faces…and snot. No kidding!! And that scene did NOT wind up on the cutting room floor. Maybe they thought it was more, I dunno “gritty”? “real”? Then there was the famous kiss on some soap opera long ago and when the kissers moved away from each other, there was a long string of saliva glistening in the strobe lights. ARRRGGGHHH. Anybody like to add to this compendium of Scenes Best Forgotten?

  7. SOOOO annoying. I think it’s a mark of complete disregard to those around if a parent doesn’t wipe the kid’s nose. It’s just disgusting. Couldn’t agree with you more, man. How do you always come up with these silly, yet thought provoking articles? They’re awesome 🙂

  8. No doubt if you have a kid under the age of 5 tissues are a freakin MUST!

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