Road Rage Rages On


The idiocy of people amazes me.

Not only do a surprising amount of parents not wipe their kids snotty noses but an even more surprising amount of individuals who own a driver’s license do not know how to drive on the highway. 

For those of you who THINK (for some reason that escapes me entirely) that you’re entitled to drive slow in the fast lane… allow me to draw you an illustration of the way it should be:

Now… if you’re viewing the road from above… the fast car stays on the left side while the slow car stays on the right!  This enables an easy flow of traffic!  If you’re the fast car you don’t have to worry about veering off into the other lane in order to pass those slower drivers who most of the time are either talking on their cell phone, texting, eating a taco, slapping their kid in the back seat or trying to take off their pants.

Absolute idiot drivers focusing on anything else other than driving usually result in the situation looking something like this:

What has to happen now is the fast car has to veer around the slow car in order to get where it’s going!  This not only defies the logic of the road but also simple common sense!   Something of which I fear is quickly becoming an endangered trait with most people.

Enter road rage.

Don’t get me wrong… I’m not an overly aggressive speedster with a goal of running 90-year-old nuns off the road.  Sometimes I’m just in a groove.  I have my cruise control on, I’m making good time, I’m jammin’ to some Britney Spears on the XM and life is good.

Then… Mr. “I Have A Tapout Sticker On The Back Of My Truck To Go Along With My Truck Balls” decides that he’s setting the pace in the fast lane by going 60 MPH.

Then… I have a complete and total mental breakdown because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that even the Universe is screaming for things to go right.

Enter road rage.

Get a clue drivers… before you get something like this in your face: 

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11 responses to “Road Rage Rages On

  1. I hate that almost more than anything. Also? When one semi passes another semi and they drive in tandem at 65 for ten miles? Makes me want to punch a puppy.

  2. Punching a puppy is quite a mad woman indeed!

    I hate having to take my cruise control off to maneuver around dumb drivers. Hate. It.

  3. I agree. I have always said there are a lot of dumb drivers out there. You need to be able to see about 2 or 3 moves ahead of time. My favorite thing is when you are in fastlane behind some idiot going 60mph while passing a truck or something, and some bigger idiot comes flying up in the slowlane and then gets stuck behind the truck anyway. Where do they think they are going, and didn’t they see what was going on? Really what’s wrong with people?

  4. I got behind “Ms. Multi-Task” the other day, besides driving at an annoying rate of speed, she was putting on her make-up, talking on the cell phone, and what looked to me like changing her tampon.

    I wanted to punch her in the uterus.

  5. Dude, this is a Texas thing, I’m telling you. It’s an “I’m entitled to drive here because I’m a better driver than all o y’all” thing.

    Lived in Houston for 5 years, it was horrible.

  6. I stick to the slow lane so I can text better. 😉 Kidding aside, I like setting my cruise control at speed limit and just go. Very peaceful…zen-like. No “Go, GO, GO!” mentaility. I save that for racetracks where I get to go “Die, you facist pigs, DIE!”. LOL

  7. Just came up from Texas, and I can’t say it’s any better in OK. The roads are just a madhouse. I may even change my mind about preferring driving to flying (and I HATE flying)
    We got that “2 in-tandem semis” thing I can’t tell you how many times!! Most exasperating.

  8. I was actually debating whether drivers in Kentucky go through drivers ed classes (results: NO). I endured driving down a street riddled with road construction rather than continue to follow the man driving 30 in a 45. Yes, I would add five minutes to my day instead of going that slow.

  9. Oh, I hate it when someone is going super slow on a one lane road and the hand is blinking and you just know that the light is about to turn and the idiot in front creeps through 10mph under the limit as it turns red on you.

    Always happens when I am in a hurry.

  10. We have exactly one road that goes out of Boulder to the south. It’s two lanes, and every day it gets completely congested with the A-holes you describe. It’s a mix of dip-shit hippies driving beaters at about 20mph and business people talking on their stupid phones not paying attention. In some places they’d call that rush hour, but in Boulder nobody rushes, they’re just all stupid. 🙂

  11. The ATL has plenty of bad drivers, yet we never make the worst commute list. I frankly think it’s because they just don’t come here to check it out.

    My driver pet peeve is “make UP” people on the road.

    http://www.rednecklatte.com/2010/10/fashion-friday-its-not-a-make-up-mirror/

    UP

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