Vote Or Die. Seriously. You Think I’m Kidding? I Will Come After You.


Alright.  All you parents know that you’d do anything for your kids, right?  Even if you aren’t a parent and you read my blog you HAVE to know and understand the sort of love that goes into raising a child!

I would take a bullet right through my brain, hold my breath for seven minutes, sit on a candlestick, kiss Iggy Pop, tattoo The Wonder Pets on my forehead, eat my own dandruff, listen to Creed every day for the rest of my life or get plastic surgery to make my face look like my butt if it meant safe passageway for DLG into her senior years.

I would even do the unthinkable: beg and plead for every single one of you reading this to help DLG get a walk on role in an uncoming Barney concert here in Oklahoma City by voting for her on this news station’s website.

Now, there was a time long before I was a father where I wanted to absolutely find Barney in a dark alley way so I could beat the living dinosaur juice out of him!  But alas… DLG loves him!  So I’ll have to put off killing him for a little while longer.

A local TV station here is running a contest where parents submit videos of their kid singing the “I Love You” Barney song.  I believe ours BY FAR takes the cake… but I’ll let you be the judge of that:

As her father I know I’m biased but… c’mon… wasn’t that awesome!?  My kid needs this.  She will absolutely go bonkers if she’s able to meet Barney.  Hell… I might just grease my pants a little!

Anyway, once you click the link, scroll down and click on the “Barney ‘I Love You’ Singing Contest”, then you should be able to scroll down to DLG’s video (it’s the far right video of the entries listed under my name chriskoenig4324) and click “vote for me”.  You’ll have to register in order to vote but it’ll only take a few minutes.  So, click here (or here, or here, or here) and vote for her (there’s only four entries so I can practically TASTE victory)!

When we win… I promise I’ll get great pictures of DLG meeting Barney and of me sticking a wooden stake through his pansy, purple dinosaur heart.

VOTE people.

VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!

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12 responses to “Vote Or Die. Seriously. You Think I’m Kidding? I Will Come After You.

  1. Well I think I voted… and registered my life away?

    I hope she wins! She was so cute singing for sure!

  2. Voted. I think I just signed up to do jury duty there too. You’ll have to cover for me. K?

  3. My vote has been registered! I hope I am not expected to vote in the next Dallas election. I’m sure Nolan Ryan would win though! He runs for everything down there right? Including the Official Robin Ventura Ass Whupper of Dallas!

  4. Go rent Hugh Grant’s “Nine Months” and replay the scene involving Hugh, Tom Arnold, and Arney (a Barney-looklike). You’ll feel better. 😉

  5. Voted – for Story! Nice to hear that Barney is still alive and kicking. Jeff was a huge fan back in the day.

  6. My vote has been recorded! Good luck!

  7. You do realized that supporting ANYTHING that involves that Purple antichrist goes against every shred of dignity that I posses. However, since DLG is unbearably cute I have decided to put aside my utter contempt for that beast.

    So in memory of when Sunshine worshipped him I have cast my ballot for your little one. However, since I need to mail my I9 and a vile of blood it may now show up until after Fed-Ex delivers.

    All the best.

    • Appreciate you putting aside your values man. I know I’ll regret going to this damn thing… but I love seeing the little one happy!

  8. I voted! How often can we vote? Was it just this once or can we do it once a day or what?

    • Yes… I forgot to mention that. I believe you can vote as often as every day until Friday! Hell… register under about 100 different names and vote every day!

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