Funniest. Letter. Ever.


When I was a young lad of around five or six, I idolized my older brother Matt.  He was, like… the kind of big brother that most little tykes like me could only dream of!  He gave me foot rides, drew pictures for me, set up tents that covered the entire downstairs of our house and beat up Paul (my other brother) one of the many times he tried to end my life.  I wanted to be just like Matt when I grew up.

Unfortunately for me… there was about twelve years difference in our age.  So, when Matt moved away to go to college I was devastated!  Not just because Paul just might strangle me… but because I couldn’t idolize him there in front of me.  I had to do it from afar.

Below is one of the letters I typed to him on this new thing back then called an “Electric Typewriter” maybe you’ve heard of it:

While I have no idea what “we won” or have a recolection of the “cutest nicest littlest kitten” I met… it’s a slice of life that my mother managed to hang onto after all these years.

Now, instead of writing him letters, I slap him in the crotch after we’ve had a couple of beers because it makes me laugh to hear him say, “Hey… why did you do that!”

Moments away from a crotch slap…

I’m all growed up.

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9 responses to “Funniest. Letter. Ever.

  1. aw how sweet. My sister is 13 years older and she tells me how I wrote to her in college and I asked her if she liked her teacher? Assuming she went to all her classes in one room with one teacher, I guess.

  2. Newsflash, I still idolize your brother Matt. I used to rush down when my Mom was cutting his hair so I could be around him and fantasize! Still a cute guy, may still run down to be around if he came back for a haircut. Lol, hilarious letter btw-

  3. awww. Brotherly love.

  4. The age difference for my daughters is 5 years. Means the older one will be out of high school by the time the younger one goes in. We will see how much idolation there is. 🙂

  5. Well, that’s the sweetest little thing ever. I hope my kids write letters like that eventually. Right now my daughter dumps cold water on my son while he’s sleeping because he hid her baby in the back yard. The love between them is just so damn touching.

  6. I absolutely love this. Partially because I think kids are the smartest creatures alive. It’s all so simple but hilarious. Also because my brothers are two of the most important mentors I’ve had.

    Great pictures too.

  7. Nice to see some guys have nice/normal relationship with their brother. Good for you.

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