Search Engine Silliness, Part 2

The internet is like… big and stuff.  A lot of people use it.  A lot of them use search engines (Google, Bing, AskJeeves, etc.) to help them find what they’re looking for.  What follows are search engine terms that people have used to find my blog (quite mistakenly I assume) for the last several months.

So I present them to you for your entertainment (search engine terms in bold).

Wanna see part one?  Click here.


im not crying my eyes just decided to pee
You might want to get that checked out

you’re not wrong you’re just an asshole walter
Wait… what?  Who’s Walter?

hypnotize yourself to poop yourself
Note to self: become hypnotist, then make people poop themselves

can a grandma wear a thong on the beach
She can!! I’ve seen her!!  In Boca Raton:

does mens pee go all over the toilet
Undoubtedly written by a pissed off woman

how to break your leg without it hurting
Answer: smoke a bunch of crack

at hooters do they rub their boobs in your face
Typed by an eager 13 year old boy on his birthday.  Wishful thinking… but no.

why does muno look like a dildo
I’ve honestly wondered the same thing myself:

pamela anderson forehead
That’s probably the first time in the history of the internet someone has searched for Pamela Anderson’s FOREHEAD

does farting on someones pillow give them pink eye
I sure hope not… Bunny just went to sleep and I farted on her pillow earlier!

let me twist your nipples
No thanks.  I’ll leave that to myself thank you very much

blue berry muffin tattoos
What a great idea for my next tattoo!  I love blueberry muffins!!

my mom kicked me in balls some times ago
Well I’m sorry to hear that

things better than boobs
Whoever typed that in a search engine came to the WRONG place because them are fightin’ words!!!


Yes… I’m stalling again.  I’m working on answering all your questions.  I’m about halfway done.  Should be up within 24 hours from now.

Don’t lynch me.


6 responses to “Search Engine Silliness, Part 2

  1. “things better than boobs” —

    Isn’t that like, threatening to kill the president?!?!? I’m pretty sure that will get the Secret Service knocking on your door.

  2. This made me laugh out loud FOR REALS.

  3. Oh my lol. too Funny. thankx, thats too much. things people do lol.

  4. Things better than boobs:
    John Hillstrand
    Bungee jumping
    Reading Mama Still Wears Gucci
    Republicans taking back the House
    Straight vacuum lines
    Pecan pie

    Shall I continue?

    • I don’t know what Moscato is but I’m PRETTY SURE it’s not near as cool as boobs. Everything else listed absolutely has nothing on boobs… except for maybe John Hillstrand because I know you love him so (and your blog of course).

      I’m sure if I had ample breasts to lug around all day I may not their near as cool as I think they are currently.

  5. The questions people type into search engines would probably get them arrested in some countries. Farting on pillows seems like a very niche thing. Who the heck would get a tattoo of a blueberry muffin? Hypnotic poop? Isn’t there a brown sound for that?

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