Gluteus Maximus Finally Receives The Recognition It Deserves


I make a lot of noise about (  .  )(  .  )’s on this blog because… uh… well, because it’s my blog gosh darn it.  I happen to be a hormone-enriched Neanderthal of a man and am not afraid to admit my fascination with God’s most fabulous accessory creation.  Men are visual creatures and I am no exception to the rule.  Rather than worship them in hushed tones, I choose to say, “Hey… I’m a Neanderthal!  Me likey!!”

But this post isn’t about what I’ve written about in jest several times before this.

“But Papa K,” you’re asking yourself, “You’re supposed to be writing [all classy-like] about boobs during the whole fourth week of this month of February [where I set aside a week to talk about individual people/things I love]!”

I know.  I know.  But this post isn’t about boobs. 

It’s about the derriere.

I was somewhat horrified when scanning everything I’ve written in the two-and-a-half years I’ve been doing this and not one single post was dedicated to the tush.

What a horrific revelation!

I have nothing against rear-ends.  In fact… I quite fancy them!

Thus my fascination with Academy Award winner Kim Kardashian I suppose:

My fascination is not far beyond most rappers infatuation with boobs’ southern cousin.  Countless songs have been written by bejeweled and/or grilled rappers regarding the ba-donk-a-donk to a point where I’m sure it could warrant its own XM radio station.  In fact, more songs have been written about the tail-feather than have been written about its more flaunted cousins from the north. 

Sir Mix-A-Lot was really ahead of his time.

Now, this is real deep stuff… but quite frankly, the booty and the breast would be helpless without one another.

Disney’s Booty and the Breast… what a great flick

You may claim to be a breast man or a booty man but if you have one without the other it’s like eating a sandwich without bread or kicking ass without taking names or watching The Wonder Pets without Ming-Ming. 

So, am I a boob man?  No.  I’m a boob AND arse man.

It’s time for me to give these lovely lady lumps their dues.

CABOOSE!! I SALUTE YOU!!

(PS – Do you know how hard it is to come up with so many different names for Gluteus Maximus?)

(PSS – I’m thinking about submitting this post to Rearders Digest)

(PSSS – I seriously can’t believe I came up with that joke.  I’m laughing at myself.)

(PSSSS – It was really late when I wrote this)

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5 responses to “Gluteus Maximus Finally Receives The Recognition It Deserves

  1. I can appreciate a fine ass.
    but I much prefer a guy that has rock hard abs.
    I have never met a guy (unless fat) that had a bad looking ass. Hard to mess that up on a guy.
    Just sayin

  2. Forearms.

    Butts are ok, too.

    Tattoos.

  3. Again, I’m stunned!

    UP

  4. I’m with MM. Forearms. *swoon*

  5. I love asses. The asses of women to be specific. The bigger and rounder the better. I find them mesmerizing. Hypnotic even. I’d definitely prefer a round booty over big boobs. Although, I’d like them both to be big, if I’m being greedy.

    When it comes to men, the shoulders are the equivalent to the big round booty in my book. I LOVE when a man has nice, strong, rounded shoulders. I can’t do those bony things.

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