When Is Science Going To Bring Mannequins To Life?


Anyone ever seen the movie Mannequin?

If you haven’t then consider yourself lucky.

It happens to be one of my wifes favorite movies and every time we happen upon it while channel surfing she demands we watch it despite my groans of agony. 

In the movie, a female mannequin comes to life and the clerk involved in arranging her in the department store window falls in love with her.  “Hilarity” ensues.

It’s all fine and good but I dislike the movie because it gives certain individuals an unrealitic view on a time where, through science, we will be able to bring mannequins to life.  It’s not fun to toy with people’s emotions like that. 

While the mannequin in the movie was a semi-attractive one, there are some mannequins that would scare the partially digested BLT right out of me if they came alive.  You know the ones I’m talking about.

Or

Or

What’s up with that?  Are these mannequins with half a head or no face a product of department stores that can’t afford the rest of the head and/or face?

Anyway, while most mannequins are pretty creepy, there are a few who warrant some sort of futuristic plasma ray gun that brings them to life.  Like this one:

Bunny, DLG and I were in Miami last year going in and out of souvenir shops when we happened upon a shop that had nothing but extremely realistic looking female mannequins.  Well… perhaps I should say they were realistic looking “erotic swimsuit models with unnatural enhancements” mannequins.

It was a little shocking and I had to stop myself from staring.  I had to look away because I thought I might get beat up by the mannequins boyfriend once she tells him how much I stared at her.  This is of course after he’s brought to life through the miracle of science in probably another year or so.

I quickly arrived that we were in Miami and that there’s really no way for an enraged mannequin-boyfriend-just-brought-to-life to find out where I live in a years time.  So I did this:

Yes.  I’m five.

It’s been a year and I haven’t had a silver-faced dude with the upper half of his head sliced off knocking at my door yet so I assume I’m in the clear. 

In closing I… wait a minute… there’s someone at the door.  OH HOLY SH…………………………….

helllo mynam is bret and i am a mannequin brot to lif throo the miracle of sients i jst smashd papa k face wit a larg steel beem becaz he exposd my grlfrend boob last yeer let this b a warnng to al of yoo to stay awa from my grlfrend

sory its hrd fr me to tipe becaz the top haf of my hed is slised off,,,,,

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2 responses to “When Is Science Going To Bring Mannequins To Life?

  1. Ok, I’m going to admit that I loved this move. I wanted to be that guy so bad I was completely in love with that girl/doll/statue/whatever. I thought how cool it would be to have a hot chick totally devoted to you like that….well now I have one (not a mannequin, a real live hot woman..lucky me!)

  2. I love that you pulled ‘her’ shirt down! You really are five — but I totally would have done the same thing. Yes, *I* would have done it. My husband would have been mortified.

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