It may come as a surprise to all of you that I was a sheltered youth. It was my fault mostly. I begged to be homeschooled after I couldn’t adapt to private school once my family moved back to the States from Norway. I had endured a year and a half of this school and had enough of being the social outcast. I wanted to bury myself within the confines of my house walls and never have to worry about conversing with anyone ever again.
I did a pretty good job of making that happen.
I did such a good job that I was completely socially inept by the time I did enter the confines of a public school four years later.
In those formative years where I should have been learning how to talk to girls and dealing with awkward pubescent moments I was doing things like this instead:
Keanu Reeves in a gray tunic with matching skirt
I had to find ways to fill the empty moments where I could have been playing with my equally awkward friends. So… I cut the heads off of famous actors in magazines and glued them over the faces of women in my mom’s Avon Fashions magazine.
Arnold Schwarzenegger in a nice, quality, pinstriped suit. Doesn’t he look nice?
I think despite running through the gamut of weirdness as a middle-school loner I somehow wound up being quite normal. Well… as normal as a kid who got his kicks from pasting Leslie Nielsen’s face on some other woman’s face in an Avon Fashions magazine.
Leslie Nielsen in a nice pair of Dockers (at 20% off)
What you might be wondering is, “How the hell do you still have these?” Well… it seems my mother saw the creativity in my work and kept the magazine in which I had pasted all these famous people’s faces in. I have her to thank for preserving memories like this one:
Danny De Vito in a hideous jacket and equally hideous pair of “mom jeans”.
Before I go and scare you all away from reading my blog again please understand I haven’t done this in at least a year and I don’t miss doing it at all……………………………………… well………………… maybe just a little.
Wasted youth? I think not.