Kim Kardashian And I Broke Up

Those of you who know and read me are familiar with my crush on the socialite gone mega-super reality star, Kim Kardashian.  I’ve mentioned her one too many times on this blog and have kind of made it a running joke for those of you who read me often.

I understand my fascination with her.  It isn’t her wit or wisdom or ability to make me laugh.  It certainly isn’t the fact she made a sex tape with Ray J who might possibly the Universe’s biggest douchebag.  It honestly was because of her looks.

But even I can’t maintain a celebrity crush based on that alone.

When someones fame becomes far larger than the galaxy in which they reside… it kinda turns me off.

She’s everywhere.  She endorses everything.


Fast Food:

Weight-Loss Supplements:

Silly Bands:

The Dodgers:

Giant Mouth Bowls:

And along with a million other products… she has her very own song for the love of everything holy.

How much more exposure does she need?  How much bigger can she become?  The Kardashian mafia made over $65 Million in 2010 and they command such outrageous demands as $25,000 for a tweet to endorse a person or product!  No wonder I could never get her to follow me on Twitter!  I don’t have $25,000 to throw at her so she can make more in one second typing something on Twitter than most people in Cambodia or Somalia make in their entire lifetime.

Kim is very pretty but I believe her head has become bigger than her ass at this point… and that would make for one gigantic head.

I’m sorry Kim… it’s over between you and me.

Please stop crying.  You’re embarrassing me.


So, as the former holder of the number one spot on my list, you might be thinking, “Who are you replacing her with?”

I’m celeb crushin’ on Andy Roddicks wife: Brooklyn Decker.

You may have seen her in Adam Sandler’s most recent movie, “Just Go With It.”

She seems to be the antithesis of Kim Kardashian (for now) and that’s alright with me.  I just hope fame doesn’t make her ugly because I can move on pretty fast once that happens.


9 responses to “Kim Kardashian And I Broke Up

  1. I was wondering what you would say about her song. haha Have you heard it?

  2. Allow me to express my condolences to you regarding your breakup with Miss Bigass.

    Perhaps I’ll download her shitty song in your memory. Using my Itunes giftcard of course. 😉

    Thanks again, by the way! Winning something rocks!

  3. Once again, you and I have very similar taste in women. That scene from the movie with Brooklyn walking out of the water is amazing!

  4. Shes really not much different than anyone else who keeps trying to top what they did or bought last.
    It gets out of control and ridiculus.

    but where else is there to go but UP.

  5. I always thought you were to good for her anyway. She seems to get around.

    Kim Kardashian is a perfect example of what is wrong with this culture, popularity obsessed world we live in. An individual with no talent or claim of doing anything can become the center of someone’s universe and be seen as a role model….and for what?

    Good riddance to bad rubbish.

  6. She got a restraining order, didn’t she? I knew it.

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