Search Engine Silliness, Part 3


The internet is like… big and stuff.  A lot of people use it.  A lot of them use search engines (Google, Bing, AskJeeves, etc.) to help them find what they’re looking for.  What follows are search engine terms that people have used to find my blog (quite mistakenly I assume… or I hope) for the last month or so.

So I present them to you for your entertainment (search engine terms in bold).

Wanna see part one?  Click here.  Wanna see part tw0?  Click here.

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do guys go to hooters just to see women
I can tell a woman searched this…

the uninvited lips
“Were those lips on the list?  I didn’t think so.  Get ’em outta here!”

best birthday present for horny man
Hmmmmmmmmmmm… is that a rhetorical question?

yorkshire terrier sandwich
$5 footlong at Subway now I think

baby i hate you i wanna stab you in the nuts
Ooh. Well… I guess whoever you are you can at least take solace in knowing she still is calling you “baby”

what is my real name? no more than name. where is my real face? i have no face anymore
Uh… sounds like you’ve got some serious questions that Google ain’t gonna be able to answer for you

ugly blonde giants
I laughed at this initially… then I realized they happened upon MY blog while searching for ugly blonde giants.  Am I an ugly blonde giant?

farting at badminton
In case you didn’t know it takes extreme talent and concentration to be able to do both of these at the same time

jillian michaels tongue punch fart box
I don’t watch The Biggest Loser but I’m pretty sure I still wouldn’t know what a “tongue punch fart box” is even if I did

knitting pattern for penis
Hey… “it” gets cold too

why do my testicles move
By themselves?  That’s a little frightening…

my wife is making me get boobs
I can’t say I haven’t considered getting a pair myself…

how to be hilarious 
If you have to ask Google how to then you’ve probably got no chance…

And perhaps my all-time favorite search engine term that people used to find my blog:

you’re the most handsome man in the world
Believe it or not, NINE people found my blog by searching this phrase… kinda makes up for the “ugly blonde giant” from earlier!

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If you’re the proud owner of a blog… what are some of the funnier words or phrases have been used to find it?

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7 responses to “Search Engine Silliness, Part 3

  1. There’s a lot of drunk people on the internet. Just saying.

  2. Thanks for the chuckle, ugly blonde giant. Oh wait…that’s me. 😉

  3. Those are great. Funny stuff. I tried this and all the entries were some version of LIAYF.

  4. LOL…

    They’re actually called “willy warmers” and they actually do make knitting patterns for them. Haha!

  5. Awesome!! ‘ugly blonde giants’?? There ARE alot of drunk people on the internet! My best search is: I hate Josh Grobans Feet. I get variations of that quite a bit. Cracks me up to no end!! Posted today about my TattoID’s and linked to you. I’ve been all kinds of sick and slammed w/ family crap/awesomeness so I haven’t done my fanroll pic *hangs head* I have all these plans for an amazing picture like no other . . .but sadly I think in order to actually get you the picture it is going to be all kinds of normal. I’m going to try for one more chance at awesome this weekend though!

  6. I’ve gotten some strange ones too. The one post that gets the most hits is one that I wrote awhile back about the banana show in Japan.

  7. You did NOT have a giant wineglass. I’ve seen that picture many times in the back pages of Brides’ magazines. Nice try though cuz who would ever really own one of those? 🙂 Funny shtuff, dude!

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