If You’re A Bad Tipper, Then Your Genetics Suck

Thanks for the service. Now... go buy yourself a nice box of crayons.

Waiting tables, at times, can be a harrowing experience if you wind up servicing an individual who seems to think that they created the Universe. Almost undoubtedly, no matter how well you service this douche… you’re going to get a crappy tip.

Until just recently, all waiters have been able to wish their bad tipper will contract a hideous flesh-eating disease shortly upon their departure. Now, with the release of this article it seems that if your a waiter whose left a 2% tip then you may have to look at them with Michael Landon eyes instead.

I feel... so sorry for you and your tipping defect...

It seems that researchers who have nothing better to do than figure out why some people give shitty tips came to find out that “generosity is built into human nature and isn’t solely a result of social pressure.”

So basically, if you’re an asshole in real life then you’re going to be an asshole tipper. But that’s okay… because you’re a genetic asshole.

I have an incredible amout of respect for those individuals who respect their waiter (within reason). In fact, I think it shows what kind of person you are in the way you treat and tip wait staff.

What do you think?


Enjoy some more of my stuff at www.JoeCrazy.com. My most recent piece: Top Five Questions to Ask Before Getting Your Tattoo


8 responses to “If You’re A Bad Tipper, Then Your Genetics Suck

  1. As a former bartender, shitty tippers are total douches. But, most people are pretty generous. One person, who shall remain nameless because he’s a big star from the 1980s and lived on a ranch in Texas, that we’ll call Northspoon, was a great tipper. I worked at a bar in Saulsalito and he always tipped 100%. But, then that show he was on before with the pretty blonde made him rich already.
    I’m sure he doesn’t remember me, but I’ll never forget him.


  2. I have to say I have never waited tables. So I guess i don’t fully get it.
    But I can say that I always tip the basic. Never above never below.
    So does that make me good or bad?

  3. I’ve ever waited tables but will tip based upon service. A part of me has a problem with tipping altogether. “ok, I will make your payroll for you employer” and just because the dinner is more expensive I have to pay more? Intakes as much effort to bring out wings as it does a filet.

    • While I do understand I think there’s a big difference between the quality of service between wings and a filet. It is funny that while you may not notice any effort on the waiters part when nothing goes wrong but if the waiter is shitty you’ll begin to notice. If restaurants paid all their employees a fee there wouldn’t be any effort on their part to make your experience more pleasent. The tips are an incentive to do better.

      • Also, most restaurants require a waiter tip out other employees (bus people, bartender, etc.) Based on a percentage of their sales. So for a plate of wings that might average 10 bucks a server may tip out .50 of the 2 dollars they are tipped…but if I sell a filet for 30 dollars, get tipped 2 dollars and tip out 1.50 that only leaves me with .50 for me. That is why it is customary to tip on the amount of the bill and not some random amount based upon your perception of the service.

  4. The whole idea of tipping kinda rips me. We should just pay the people a fair wage. I can understand for exceptional (and I mean over the top) sevice, but other than that, no. Yeah, maybe I’m an asshole but now there is a tip line for seemingly everything. I went to pick up a pizza the other night and had to feel like a douche for lining through the tip line when I stopped in and picked the thing up for carry out.

    At least it was alread made, so probably no one spit on it.

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