We’ve all had this conversation with our estrogen-enriched counterparts:
“Let’s watch ‘Zombieland’!”
“No… we watched your movie last time!”
“What!? We watched 2012…. I thought you wanted to see that movie! “
“No. You picked it out and I said it was ‘okay’… you didn’t rent that movie for me! You’d been wanting to see that movie forever!”
“Well… yes, but I got it because I wanted a movie YOU could enjoy too! Zombieland looks awesome! You’d like it!”
“No. No I wouldn’t… I want to watch ‘Valentine’s Day’.”
“Ugh. Just rip off my testicles now… it’ll be more enjoyable.”
Unless you’re blessed with having a spouse or girlfriend that actually enjoys sitting through “The Terminator” or “Gladiator” or some other movie that makes your testosterone rocket through the top of your skull then you’ve had to endure sitting through what’s classically known as “The Chick Flick”.
What’s upsetting is that sometimes, about halfway through the movie, I find myself actually engrossed in the film! So, in order to make myself feel better, I’m going to list my top five chick flicks that you don’t have to get your balls cut off for watching (we’ll do a list for those movies that will require you to remove your testicles some time later).
John Cusack has the romantic comedy market covered (Say Anything, Must Love Dogs, etc.). In this Rom-Com chick flick, John finds himself opposite the always stunningly beautiful Kate Beckinsale (one good reason it’s a good choice for manly men to watch it) in a story about how fate is only how you make it.
In the movie, after just meeting each other, John’s character finds himself struck with the love bug for Kate… only when a gust of wind blows away her number that’s scrawled on a small scrap of paper is when Kate’s character begins to believe that fate interceded. One final push on the part of him to just write her number down again results in her convincing him that if they are meant to be together then fate will indeed bring them back into each others lives.
Blah blah blah… I know… sounds a little too mushy, pooshy, cutesy, wootsy for most dudes. I honestly can’t tell you a good reason, as a dude, that I liked this movie… but I did. It was clever, witty, funny and cute. Wait… did I just say cute? I mean… it’s rockin’ awesome cool.
4. The Father of the Bride
I first watched this movie when I was about thirteen or so and even at that age I felt like I was going to eventually be the same kind of father that Steve Martin is in the movie. I will fall nothing short of a crazed buffoon meandering around wondering what the hell happened to my little girl, when I became so damn old and when would be a good opportunity to KILL that asshole boy that’s stealing my little girl away from me!
TFOTB shouldn’t really be classified as a “chick flick” per se… or at least I don’t think it should. Rather… I think it should be recommended watching for all dad’s who have daughters because it really is quite funny.
On a separate note, Steve Martin plays a father so well in this movie (and others like “A Simple Twist Of Fate” and “TFOTB2”) that I’m really shocked he never became a father himself! Hey Steve… it’s never too late!
3. First Knight
There would be an argument in certain circles as to if this is actually a “chick flick”. I say it is because it takes place in medieval times, there’s a damsel in distress(Julia Ormond), a brooding old king who’s in love with her (Sean Connery) and Richard Geere with long hair that he flips around a lot in slow motion sword fights.
Definitely a “chick flick”.
But despite these qualifying points… it also has some nifty fight scenes that make up for the gooshy smoochy parts. Especially the ending fight scene right after Sean Connery gets shot with several arrows and yells “Camelot LIVES!” before falling to the ground. Ooooooh man. That really pisses a lot of people off.
A scene from “First Knight”
BONUS: Julia Ormond in the rain… all wet… looking forlorn…
2. The Princess Bride
My sister knows the dialogue in this movie from beginning to end. Needless to say it’s her favorite movie (I think). I can’t go so far as to say it’s my favorite movie… or really in my top ten! But it’s definitely a must-see. Despite it’s “silly non-dudetastic” simple movie title that may turn most dudes away from it entirely… it’s actually quite hilarious!
Starring Cary Elwes in perhaps his least douchey movie (Saw? Twister?) and Robin Wright (Penn? Is she still married to Sean Penn?) the movie takes place in a young boys (a Wonder Years’ Fred Savage) imagination as his grandfather reads him a book by the same name.
The movie lends itself to moments of lovey, dovey, smoochyness… but with its biting wit, fight scenes and a cameo by Billy Crystal… it’s got something for everyone.
Alright. I don’t know how much crap I’m gonna receive for this one… but I liked “Ghost”. Despite it’s kind of simplistic views of Heaven and Hell (all “good” people go to Heaven and all “bad” people go to Hell) it again felt like it was something I would do… if in fact there was some way to bypass going to Heaven (I hope… if I wanted to) while I sorted out some last-minute Earthly issues.
If revenge is in the synopsis of any movie, it’s guaranteed to strike a chord with moviegoers. “Ghost” is exactly that… wrapped up in a squishy, squeezey, cuddley, romantic movie package. You don’t have to give up your testicles to watch it.
But you might need a few tissues.
If you’re a girl.
What “chick flicks” are “Dude Approved”? Tell me. I want to know what I missed.