Tag Archives: asshole

I’m An Asshole


I haven’t called.

I haven’t written.

Hell… I haven’t made a single attempt in the last several weeks to reach out to you: my readers.

I’m like that person you dated who you really, really liked and you thought everything was cool only have me not call you back, return your texts, avoid you in the hallway, assimilate myself somewhere else other than where you are or do everything I can to avoid eye contact with you at 7-11 because if I do that means I have to talk to you.

I, my dear readers (of whom many I have lost I’m sure), am an ass.

What if I were to tell you that I want you back?

What if I were to tell you that I’ve seen the error in my ways? That it wasn’t you… it was me? I just needed to find myself! To spread my wings and fly only to find myself back here where I belong!

C’mon… I’m crying here…

I sold myself and my talents to the industry giants who paid me only to throw my talent to the curb like I was a dirty, snot soaked tissue incapable of absorbing any more phlegm or containing one more rouge booger.

WHO ARE THEY? THEY DON’T KNOW ME!

You know me… and I missed you.

I’m coming back. It’s official… if you’ll take me (and tell everyone we’re back together via email, Facebook, Twitter, carrier pigeon, etc.).

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Oh, and in case you haven’t noticed, I’m making a few changes! I know it kinda looks like poop right now but I’m doin’ the best I can with the time I have.

Word homeys.