Hi. I’m Papa K and I’m a (self-proclaimed) awesome blogger.
This blog has been many things. It has tried to find its space in the vast, expansive internets where so many other blogs and websites have dreamed of being frequented by more than a million viewers a day… only to have their dreams smashed all over the hot pavement once they realized how much work it was.
It has been a blog where I’ve poured my heart out about fatherhood and posted articles about farting. I’ve written about baseball and rated celebrities on a scale of 1 – 10 on how hot they are. I’ve ranted about “Sister Wives” and truck balls. I’ve tried to fight the system by writing about whatever the hell I wanted to write about and have success on the internet.
Alas… I failed.
So I took a break. I watched some TV. Tried to make another baby with my wife. Played some softball. Tried to make another baby with my wife. Lost some weight. Failed at making another baby with my wife because my sperm are all assholes. Wrote some articles for money. Learned a little about the business of internet blogging success. Reinvented myself.
“Who is Papa K” is no longer a project trying to overcome the overwhelming cards stacked against me in an effort to make my blog on “whatever the hell I wanna write about” a success. “Who is Papa K” will still have the effortless flair I add to every post (with the occasional fart joke or boob worship) but will be more centered on current events taken from a point of view seen by no one else: mine.
I may seem calm and sedated outwardly, but when I write I tend to let my emotions go and throw caution to the ever-loving wind. I’m looking forward to adding my two bits to the internet where it never goes away and may come back to haunt me when I’m old, decrepid and begging for God to grant me 10 seconds to stand up without crumbling into a dust heap.
I hope you will read. I hope you will challenge me, agree with me and most of all… enjoy reading me.
Who is Papa K? Read on and find out….
Papa K is definitely not this guy…
Some things you should know about Papa K:
– My daughter, without a doubt, is the most beautiful child on the planet and I love her endlessly
– I love my wife and her gorgeous boobs and ba-donk-a-donk
– I’m Catholic… which leads me to the next thing you should know about me:
– I enjoy GOOD beer… not domestic crap
– I got food poisoning the night before I was supposed to get married
– I pretty much like everyone unless they’re just a complete dumbass idiot
– I used to eat my boogers
– I really have to hold myself back from buying too much autographed memorabilia
– I have about 17 tattoos
– Jon Lovitz is the most famous person I’ve ever met
– When I take pictures with my wife I just look like such a tool standing next to her
– I suffer from depression and OCD
– I LOVE Texas Ranger baseball, Josh Hamilton is my favorite player
– I used to be buff
– I’m a movie buff
– I like to use “…” alot when I’m writing
– I used to have what looked like a swollen tick in my belly button until I was about 17 years old when I finally had it surgically removed
– I breastfed until after the age of one
– I cried in Disneys “Tarzan”
Behind every good, awesome, incredibly handsome man stands a much more attractive woman… I am no different.
There is so much I can say about my beautiful wife… and already have: here, here, here and here. She is my best friend, lover, life-partner, inspiration for a few posts now and then and (every once and a while) “that hot french maid”
This is not our maid… this is really my wife…
For the sake of her protection against the hoards of drooling men out there waiting to stalk her, I choose to identify her only as “Bunny” if she’s mentioned in posts, as in “Playboy Bunny”. I don’t think there is a better set of b00bs on the planet (you may find this sentiment repeated several times in this blog… sorry… it’s just true!).
Here are some other tidbits about Bunny:
– We moved recently because her closet was too small
– Has a designer jean addiction
– Is completely uncoordinated
– Accidentally set her robe on fire once… while she was wearing it
– Likes getting dizzy
– Has the whitest teeth and doesn’t have to work for it
– Can work that booty
– Wants to skydive
– Right before I tell the punchline of a joke right after a long lead-in… she steals my thunder and tells the punchline
– Doesn’t like baseball… but I’m working on that
High on life… and high above the streets of Chicago…
Lastly, I have a penchant for mentioning my daughter, I call her “DLG”: Daddy’s Little Girl.
There’s not much to say… I mean look at her!! She’s freakin’ gorgeous!!
I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that I helped create her.